The Host: Stephenie Meyer

As far as book covers go this one isn’t that bad unless you wake up in the middle of the night and find it staring at you.

 

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know how I feel about the Twilight Saga.  So, I’m not going to go into a ridiculously long diatribe about how Bella was the instigator of many weak ass heroines in YA lit or the fact that Edward apparently made stalking sexy.

I could also criticize about what has grown out of Twilight  (i.e. Master of the Universe, the Fifty Shades series which I honestly think shouldn’t have been published despite what Meyer says .  It’s freaking fan fiction!

Instead, I will be focusing my energies on looking at Stephenie Meyer’s other  work, The Host.

General Summary: You remember the ending of Independence Day where Bill Pullman gave his heroic speech and then got into that fighter jet and helped Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum kick alien butt to kingdom come.  Well, that didn’t happen here.  Instead, the aliens won.  However, these aliens aren’t bad ass aliens like the ones in Independence Day were instead they were like Halo  aliens (meaning, they wanted to spread peace and good cheer and save the planet from all the goth kids  darkness).  Wanderer, a super dooper powerful alien, is implanted into special snowflake Melanie who despite the odds is still there in Wander’s  head.  Plus, Wander can’t help but be attracted to Melanie’s  hot boyfriend, Jared.

Review:

The Host can simply be summed up by stating that this is Stephenie Meyer’s attempt at writing literature. You can tell that this is a “serious” novel.

But honestly, it’s not that serious.  Or really that different from Twilight.

It’s true Wanderer and Melanie are slightly better than Bella.  But they’re still glorified Mary Sues.  Plus, both of them get on my nerves.  However, after having to deal with Bella I find them slightly refreshing.

As for the plot of this novel, nothing really happens here.  Wander just sort of wonders into Melanie’s life.  And decides to abandon her alien life so that she can live in the hovels amongst the humans.

Okay, so there are a few action scenes here and there.  But for the most part, nothing happens in this book.

Sure, you could say the emotional relationships with the characters were explored.  But if I wanted to watch a show about emotions I’d watch Dr. Phil.

Best Feature: No, Bella Swan.  I like Melanie/Wanderer a little bit better than Bella.  That’s not saying that I liked them, but it’s saying that they’re better than Bella.  And that’s something, isn’t it?  Plus, I did find the alien backstory interesting.  Though I wish she didn’t come from a “peaceful” group of aliens.  And for that matter why were humans so easy to take ahold on.  I don’t buy the lameo excuses that Meyer provides because of this:

Worst Feature: Aliens.  As you might of guessed from the best feature part of this review, I didn’t really like the aliens.  I hate passive aggressive take overs.  Besides, I didn’t get how the earth was really better.   Everyone just became essentially zombies that were controlled by aliens and that’s not really enjoyable.  Plus, these aliens are really wimps.  At least in the Twilight Saga there were some pretty kick ass actions scenes.  But here….

Nothing really happens except for maybe twenty pages of the book where you think something is going to happen but it doesn’t.

Appropriateness:  It’s a Stephenie Meyer book so it has to be clean right.  Oh, yeah, I forgot about Breaking Dawn.  Don’t worry kids there is no cannibalistic fetus here.  Rather this book is rather tame.  There is some violence, though nothing you’d expect from an alien takeover novel.  Seriously, could we at least have one laser fight?  There’s some sex talk here, but nothing explicit for sure.

Blockbuster Worthy: I don’t think so, but it’s going to be made into a movie.  So obviously I know nothing about blockbuster gold.  Honestly, I never thought about casting the movie.  So the casting they’ve done seems good enough to me…shrugs.

Overall Rating:  While this book does not include Bella Swan (which made it a smidgen better than Twilight) it was ridiculously boring and had it’s fair share of problems.  The Host had aliens and for all intents and purposes it should’ve been exciting not the snore fest it was.  For that, I’m giving it a four out of ten alien abductions.   Who knows, maybe when EL James decides to write a fan fic of The Host  and publishes it her version will be  better especially if the aliens find their inward goddesses.  But for me, if I want something with aliens.  I’ll stick with this.

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