And once again it’s time to look at more covers and judge them. Because being shallow is fun, right! Especially when bad posing is involved. Let’s look at some more YA covers But first let’s get some music going:
Let’s strike a pose, shall we?
What the Cover Tells Me: Tabby has lived her life in prison with her mom. In her world, children are punished with their parents and Tabby has no hope for a real life since her mom’s doing life for killing her wife beater of a father. Despite this, Tabby finds herself attracted to the local magistrate’s son. So in a twisted tale of Cinderella, Tabby finds herself escaping and going to a local ball in a dress made out of prison uniforms.
What the Book is Actually About: Well, it’s like The Bachelor. And Maxon is down to the final six. But things have to get complicated-ratings people, ratings. So the producers decided to drag in America’s ex boyfriend in there for conflict. Oh, and there’s some sort of war going on that no one really cares about because honestly this series is just sort of silly.
Verdict: This cover is actually pretty interesting to look at and not a good way. I mean, at first it looks pretty stunning. It has “the dress”, but the more you look at it you start to see its faults. For example, the dress isn’t exactly flattering to the model’s hair or skin tone (I think if they were going to go for a red they should’ve gone deep red instead of the prison orange red they used). Then there’s the pose. I think they were trying to go for the regal vibe but instead she looks rather stiff. I will give them props that it isn’t the horrible pose they did last time (I won’t use that joke again it’s dead but I’ll allude to it, model was in need of some Secret), but couldn’t they hire a girl that could smize. That’s like modeling 101 ask Tyra Banks if you don’t believe me.
What the Cover Tells Me: Have you ever wanted to fly? Well, if you read this book you’ll learn how to
do almost do that with some rather amazing yoga poses. Oh, wait you wanted aliens….well, our yoga instructor gets abducted by aliens and you can learn yoga in space. Instant best seller, right?
What the Book is Actually About: Haven and the gang are back uncovering a sinister mystery in the big easy. What ever will our angels in training do?
Verdict: Seriously, this girl looks like she is about to get abducted by aliens or something or is in yoga class. Actually, I think yoga class is more likely since she’s dressed so casual which is quite a bit different from the first book-big frilly dress. Plus, if I remember correctly the heroine is now suppose to have short hair-whatever. It’s not like I’m going to read this one anyway. I couldn’t get through the first book so freaking long. All I will say though other than the big ass wings, fans of this series are going to be a bit confused with the cover it will be like where’s my big frilly dress. Why do I want to read about a girl who wears yoga pants that’s so boring. Big frilly dresses though…
What the Cover Tells Me: Icee has always lived a life hiding in the shadows. Surviving. You see, Icee is half demon and being half demon in her goody goody too dystopia shoes world means instant death. And that sort of sucks especially when your in love with one of your assassins. Too bad Danish Hot Stuff (try to beat those names YA dystopia writer’s) doesn’t know she exists.
Are you Team Danish?
What the Book is Actually About: It’s about this girl Helen (yes, I know warning bells are going off in my head too) who finds out she’s a
special snowflake keeper. And that she has a destiny to fulfill.
Verdict: This is going to sound really shallow and I really hope the model doesn’t read this but could the photographer take a more unattractive picture? This is a model. The girl has lots and lots of flattering angels and they chose this picture. I can actually see up her nostrils and I totally think they photoshopped her eyes. Plus, not very historically accurate I mean eye liner in the 19th century as if. Maybe if took place in Ancient Egypt it would make sense but Westerners didn’t use eye liner till the 1920’s.
What the Cover Tells Me: Dear lordy, it’s really hot in this dress. But I’m sort of obligated to wear it since I’m a nineteenth debutant and all. But somehow, I don’t know how someone puts an evil spell on me and I’m propelled from the year 1856 to 2012. Now I have to get used to the modern world and memes. What is this face palm?
What the Book is Actually About: This is the pseudo sequel to the awesome Texas Gothic. This book centers around Amy’s psychic cousin, Daisy, who works for the FBI as a consultant. And somehow finds herself working for the mob.
Verdict: I’m excited about this book. But seriously this is totally a face palm pose it’s like subliminal advertising to try to get the reader to not like the book. Not that it will work anything by Rosemary Clement-Moore rocks.
What the Cover Tells Me: It’s December 21, 2012 and we’re all doomed-cue the screams. However, one girl finds out that she and two boys (the typical one’s mysterious and one’s the best friend she’s had all her life) find out they have the power within to prevent being doomed an drag the Earth into the age of enlightenment. However, will the awesome trio be able to bring enlightenment or will they spend the book fighting over Kara’ s heart (the answer to fans of YA should be obvious).
What the Book is Actually About: Somehow or another a girl finds herself swept into a virtual world with no technology (oxymoron much?). It really does look intriguing though.
Verdict: I’ll just say this who do they think they are, The Avengers?