Top Five Ways to Know You Suck as a YA Parent

YA parents have a bad wrap with all their kids turning into vampires/finding out they have an unknown paranormal identity that their parents decided to keep from them.  But what are the biggest faux pas a YA parent can commit?  Well, let’s take a look at a few of them shall we:

5) You Have a Busy Career: 


Yeah, you might be doing your best being a single mom that works to hard…but hey, you’re hurting your YA child’s feelings and that’s more important.  Quit that high powered job that makes your child so moody so that they can tell you all about how their Edward Cullen wannabe doesn’t love them.  Never mind the fact that their deadbeat dad doesn’t give shit at them and doesn’t pay the child support.  You have to make your child happy which means being there to make cookies at all times of the day.  Money to pay the heating doesn’t matter when your child feels so lonely. If you don’t pay attention to them they may unleash a harmful computer worm that causes Armageddon like Pandora Walker in Doomed by Tracy Deebs.

4) Having a Social Life:

Parents shouldn’t have social lives.  Look what happened to Blythe Grey when she got involved with that nasty Hank Miller in Silence by Becca Fitzpatrick.  She practically ruined poor Nora’s life all because she had a boyfriend.  Once you’re past the age of thirty and have a kid, forget about having a romantic life.  Your main objective should be listening to your teenager and well not getting involved with an axe murderer.

No wonder Mommy Porn is in now.  If they can’t have a real relationship because of their obnoxious YA brat then they have to get their romance somewhere even if it’s from bad fan fiction.

3) Keeping Your Child Away From Their One True Love:

Awful parents forbid their children to see their significant other.  That is just like the number one rule in the universe.  True love cannot be challenged and if it is, bad things happen.   Your kid will run away from home or do something drastic.  Like I don’t know, marry their vampire boyfriend.  You just don’t challenge true love.  Instead, accept your child’s relationship with their paranormal boyfriend.  It’s the easy thing to do.  If it gets too much for you, ESPN helps.

If only cable TV existed during the Elizabethan era.

2)Being Completely Oblivious to the Fact that a Paranormal Creature is After Your Kid:

Have you just met your child’s boyfriend?  Does he seem too good to be true?  He probably is.  In fact, he probably has a hairy secret.  And yeah, it might literally be hairy.  In fact, it might seem strange to you that after all these years, your daughter is finally falling in love with a boy.  After all, you and your husband might have been a little concerned seeing all those wolf pictures that she has hung in her room…but that’s another story for another day.

1) Your Child is Dating Edward Cullen (or one of his YA  various counterparts):

This is how you know if you truly suck as a YA parent.  The other things, forget them.  I don’t begrudge a YA parent for trying to support their family or having a social life, as long as they do take care of their kids.  Letting your kid date Edward Cullen or one of his various counterparts.  A lot of these parents don’t know how to put their foot down when it comes to these guys.  Sure, you could argue that Charlie Swan didn’t like Bella and Edward’s relationship.  But he didn’t really do anything to stop them.  Sure, he tried to pimp her out to Jacob but that’s not taking action.  Taking action would’ve been putting her in therapy after Edward dumped her ass in New Moon and shipping her off to Florida when he came back.  Instead, well, Charlie just wanted to watch the ball game on TV.

Parents of a YA character should invest in this*
*Note, taser guns might not work on paranormal creatures.

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