This is Zoey Redbird (yes, I know I’m amazing you can like totally stop clapping now).
I’m upset that people are using my series to get drunk. Seriously, you can’t understand how amazing it is. That I am like the super-est of the super. Seriously, Wonder Woman has nothing on me. I am just amazing.
How many times do I have to say that?
A lot, I guess, since I keep repeating it a lot throughout my novel. Now an evil person would drink a lot to that, but you’re not evil right? But if you are let me tell you why you shouldn’t drink in my plight to be the bestest of the bestest.
Man, in this installment of my series my life really sucks. I have three boyfriends and I complain about it a lot. It’s soooooo hard to choose. Let’s look at my choices:
A) King Douche: Oh, Heath. We’ve always had this connection. And we’re like perfect together because of our past even though he’s has about the same IQ as a Labrador Retriever. And really does nothing that’s remotely likable. Except, of course, I want his blood.
B) Prince Eric: Erik is just amazing. Sure he lacks a personality, but you can always recognize him because of his Superman hair and blue eyes. He’s sort of like Prince Eric on The Little Mermaid appearance and all. I think he’s so pretty a lot throughout the book. You can just drink at how I’m amazing anytime I describe him.
Okay, so I know my relationship with Loren is taboo. I know a lot of things that go on in this book could be considered taboo. But that’s what makes me so cool man.
Oh, poopie, I bet that sounded lame there.
And really, I don’t know what’s wrong with bullpoopie. You people who think I should cuss or at least act like a quasi normal human being just need to get over yourself because I’m special.
So, back to what we were talking about my story is taboo, original, and edgy. Here are some of the “edgy” things that are discussed that have never been seen in a little fan fic called My Immortal
- Student/teacher relationships: Loren and I are love. We like did it in the rec room but it was totally ruined by Prince Eric who came in there and started cussing us out.
- Count Chocola and vampires love for it (if I only I could have a Mercedes with the license plates with 666)
- Friends that undergo radical transformations with makeovers that are from
- Evil teachers who hate me for no reason