Well, it’s almost April (it will be on Monday). But I like to get a head start on things, that and I’m completely bored in Texas Pretrial and the person who’s reciting is mumbling so I couldn’t really pay attention even if I wanted too, it’s time to analyze some more covers. Since it’s April (just go with it) I decided to make this months theme fools. Because of April Fool’s Day. And honestly, I have to wonder what the art department for some of these books were thinking.
What the Cover Tells Me: Barbie Doll has always known she was different. I mean, look at her feet. Buying shoes is a bitch. And try putting makeup on your face when you already have makeup permanently applied there….But then she meets Ken and finds out that, well, she’s not human. She’s from the Matel. That planet of plastic people that are determined to take over the Earth through body dysmorphication.
What the Book is Really About: This little brat throws a temper tantrum about how she wants to be a normal girl who doesn’t wear trash bags on top of her head. Goes to public school and falls in love with a grey alien wannabe who just happens to look like Malfoy in a silver bodysuit.
Verdict: Abort, abort. Sometimes kids, we shouldn’t be so literal when designing a book cover especially if our only cover models are photoshopped versions of Barbie and Ken. Grant it that’s how the characters in that book actually look like.
What Does This Cover Tell Me: It’s the latest Cassandra Clare novel-see the hot bod and tattoos. But what on Earth is with that Butterfly? Is this a new series? Will Walking be in every title. Oh, wait maybe disaster will be in every title.
See, almost the same cover save for the fact that awful butterfly sort of takes away from the badassness.
What is the Book is Really About: Dive into the mind of a sociopath of a hunky dream guy who has full control over his girlfriend’s wardrobe, calls her pigeon for no apparent reason, and fantasizes eleven years later from prison after being booked for assault that he’s a kick ass FBI agent and his wife didn’t leave him after they appeared on Dr. Phil for abusive relationships. Oh, wait that last part didn’t happen. But the rest does.
Verdict: I don’t get the butterfly at all. I get that it’s suppose to show some casual connection between the books, but doesn’t having “Disaster” in the title do that? I hate to say this but McGuire’s publisher should take a cue from the art department that designed Cassandra Clare’s books. There’s a clear theme to her omnibus Shadowhunter series that isn’t too grating or too literal-though those titles (shudders).
*Note, this is actually a New Adult title. But if you’ve read my blog you know how I feel about NA as a genre.
What Does This Cover Tell Me: So like are they in the water or something. Because it looks like the bench is in the water but then I see grass and I’m not sure? So are they like holding on to each other because a natural disaster equal to any Roland Emmerich film hits their fictional town and they must cling onto each other to survive?
Natural disasters dumping one park at a time into your local pounds.
What Is This Book Really About: So drippy girls gets in a love triangle and gets knocked up-yawns.
Verdict: At least these covers have a theme (yes, I said covers because McAdams books all share a similar cover theme even though they’re mostly stand alones). But seriously, why must these covers be so literal. Why oh why?
See, almost identical save for the fact they’re standing up and one of the male models is not covered with body art. Can’t we be the least bit creative or is that too difficult?
What Does This Cover Tell Me: At long last we’re getting a sequel to White Chicks but in book form. And zombies are involved. How can you not like that? OOH, and rabbits too. Rabbits make everything better save for penguins. Because penguins are absolutely the cutest animals to exist on the world. With maybe the exception of koala bears or baby harp seals. Enough on the cute animal digression. In this installment the “girls” must stop an evil Hollywood plastic surgeon who has a special serum that turns everyone into zombies. And the rabbit (yes, the rabbit is having a starring role) is their kick ass side kick that knows bunny karate or whatever.
What the Book Is Really About: A zombie fighting series that was apparently inspired by Alice in Wonderland.
Verdict: Well, it makes a statement. That’s for sure. But not the sort of statement you want to make when trying to make a book. Seriously? WTF were they thinking? It looks like they had enough money to try on this one too which makes it even more perplexing.