So, if you actually care about what’s going on in my personal life or if you read this blog you know I’m studying for the bar so I can actually use my degree. Which means my fun consists of listening to arrogant professors talk about how great they are in BARBRI lectures and listening to summer community college students complain about a five page paper they have to write for English class in the not so soundproof study rooms that surround me. However, I have managed to teach myself the law by incorporating YA and NA characters in hypos. Let’s look at a few shall we. Note, don’t use these hypos if you’re actually studying for the bar because I honestly don’t know anything other than the fact that I seriously hate my life:
Patch has been planning on killing Nora for awhile. He started his nefarious plan by using mind control to become her biology partner and then appearing in her life at random times. It also helped that her friend constantly tried to annoyingly throw them together. However, in the end Patch didn’t kill Nora despite the fact he took control over her body. He saves her life and becomes her guardian angel. Attempted murder or not?
A) Yes. Because Patch is an asshole. And he openly admits he wanted to kill her.
B) No. Because he’s a paranormal creature and they can’t be charged with crimes because they’re not a real boys.
C) Yes. Possessing someone obviously means he took that substantial step. Have you not seen Ghost Adventures? Zack Bagans would be excellent witness for this statement. And as for intent, he admitted it to multiple people including the victim herself.
D) No. Although, he had intent to kill Nora he never took a substantial step to kill her. The possession was merely to save Nora’s life. And he’s her guardian angel. Heaven intervention. The best defense for attempted murder. Eva!
2) Murder, Involuntary Manslaughter, Voluntary Manslaughter, or Innocent by Sparkly Hotness:
Edward murdered his biology partner, Bella, in a fit of passion because her blood smelt like cherry Kool-aid and Edward loves cherry Kool-aid. He claims he could not control his actions because the smell of Bella’s blood was overpowering. Mike, Bella’s friend, claims that Edward has been hostile to Bella ever since she parked his truck in her parking place. Furthermore, he claims that he saw Edward push her towards Eric’s van (whose brakes were found to be cut) and he heard Edward talking to his sister Rosalie about plans to “do Bella in”. If Mike’s story is to believed Edward could be found guilty of.
A) Voluntary Manslaughter: He couldn’t control himself because of the Volvo and cherry Kool-Aid smell.
B) Murder: Obviously, he planned to whole damn thing and he had intent to kill Bella.
C) Innocent: Anyone who kills Bella Swan deserve a medal. And gets a guaranteed pardon.
D) Involuntary Manslaughter: He can’t control himself Bella’s blood was intoxicating.
3) Robbery and Accomplices:
Travis wants to get his girlfriend, Pidge, a puppy. He asks his friend, Shep, to go with him to the local puppy/kitty mill. Unbeknownst to Shep, Travis is packing his realistic looking water pistol with him. America who works at the puppy mill thinks Travis’s gun can actually shoot bullets, so when Travis shouts “I’m Travis fucking Maddox and I’m going to shoot your brains out if you don’t give me the puppy.” She gives him the puppy. Shep, at this point is nowhere near Travis, and is browsing through the cats on the other side of the complex. Travis comes running towards where the cats are and says, “Man, we have to go.” Travis is in the driver’s seat and on the way out America runs and starts screaming at him. He runs over her killing her. Who’s guilty of what?
A) Travis: Robbery, felony murder, being a dickwad, the works; Shep: Can’t be charged with being an idiot.
B) Both found not guilty. Because it wasn’t a real gun and America was just running around like an asshole. Besides, you can totally steal from puppy mills if you’re name is Travis fucking Maddox.
C) Travis could not be found guilty of robbery because the gun wasn’t real but he could be charged with a hit and run and for larceny as well. As for Shep, he could be found to be an accomplice because he jumped in the car with Travis when he called out for him. And he also would be charged with felony murder because he was an accomplice.
D) Travis: Larceny because the gun wasn’t real and voluntary manslaughter because larceny is not an inherently dangerous crime; Shep would be guilty as an accomplice since any idiot would know Travis was robbing a puppy mill.
Clary’s mom was kidnapped and according to Jace Clary will have to kill Simon who he believes is a vampire and is holding her mother hostage. Clary does not believe him then Jace holds her at sword point (he got the sword at Party City-yes, they show weapons there-who knew) and says your mom will get it if you don’t help me. Clary finds Simon and stabs him with a stake that Buffy the Vampire Slayer gave her (don’t ask how Buffy got in this hypo maybe one her quotes accidentally got slipped into never mind….) and kills him. Clary and Jace are later arrested and charged with various crimes. What sort of defenses can they use?
A) Clary would be successful using the defense of duress since her mom was going to be killed; Jace would be successful pleading insanity because he honestly thought Simon was a vampire and believed Clary was the chosen one.
B) Both should plead insanity because Clary was crazy to trust a guy who says vampires are real and Jace is nuts for thinking swords at Party City can actually do any real damage. Everyone knows that the light sabers are the real weapon of choice at Party City.
C) Clary should try to negotiate a plea deal because duress won’t work (doesn’t work for murder) and unlike Jace she knew killing Simon was wrong. Jace could be successful with the insanity plea depending what test was used in the jurisdiction that he was charged in.
D) Both should plead duress because even though Clary knew Simon was a vampire and Jace didn’t, but wanted him dead because they thought lives were on the line.
5) Arson and Felony Murder:
Luce is tired of being sent to boarding school to boarding school for the criminally insane. At her newest school Sword and Cross Academy, she thinks that she is haunted by a malevolent spirit (Daniel). In order to rid Daniel’s spirit from the school, Luce decides to have a cleansing which involves the use of several flammable materials. There’s a warning on the oils that Luce uses that states, WARNING: CAN CAUSE FIRE. DO NOT USE INDOORS. Luce doesn’t notice the disclaimer. Luce’s friend Penn decides to smoke a cigarette throws the cigarette butt into some of the the hallway of Sword and Cross which has been covered with Luce’s ritual materials. The academy burns down and Penn dies from smoke inhalation. What can Luce be charged with?
A) No, for arson and no for felony murder: Luce didn’t maliciously burn down the building. And therefore, she should be absolved of both accounts since felony murder requires a conviction for an inherently dangerous crime.
B) Yes, for both arson and felony murder: Fry the bitch. If she would’ve read the directions the school wouldn’t have burnt down and Penn would’ve lived.
C) No, for arson and yes for felony murder: Luce did not act maliciously when she burnt down the school, she was only stupid beyond belief. But since she had an obvious disregard for life she’s guilty as sin.
D) Yes for arson and no for felony murder: The chemicals clearly state it could’ve created a fire. As for Penn’s death, it’s doubtful she’d get convicted because Penn was responsible in part for smoking and everyone knows smoking kills.