The Prince with Amnesia: Emily Evans

Awkward and slightly creep posing.  

I’m going to be honest about it, when I browse through possible book deals on my Kindle, I think I feel like an editor/agent feels when they read through the slush pile.  Occasionally, you might find something wonderful but more often than not you’re going to find  pure shit.  And that’s okay I guess if you’re not going to miss the occasional two dollars.  But after purchase after purchase, two dollars does add up and I honestly start to feel more than a little annoyed.

But those feelings aside, I know I’m the sucker here.

And I sort of knew what I was getting myself into on this one.

I mean, doesn’t the title and the boy band wannabe on the cover say it all?  The Prince with Amnesia that’s like naming your novel something like The Pregnant Rockstar  or The CEO’s Virgin Mistress (That one though is a little oxymoronic, don’t you think?)

So yeah…I knew this wasn’t probably going to end well going in, but I still couldn’t help myself.  However, fifty percent in I had to pull the plug.

There were lots of things that made this subpar.  The tone in general was stilted, the characters were flatter than Flat Stanley, and the plot was just beyond stupid.

Originally, I was going to try to review this in some cool form like use princess characters to state how appalling Evans’s version of a monarchy was or make up a fake travel show where the host goes to this fictional country that our dear prince supposedly lives in…but its just not worth it.

I can’t be creative with this book review because this book lacks creativity.  And besides, I just feel after reading The Elite the Disney Princesses shouldn’t be bothered having to read a ripoff of that series.

Oh yeah, Evans ripped off Kiera Cass.  I can’t believe I’m saying that Kiera Cass, an author whose books I utterly despise, was ripped off since there’s a whole Royal Bachelor contest in this book as well.

Oh yeah….and that didn’t really make sense either.

Neither did the controlling grandmother who seemed to be a rip off of Grandmere from The Princess Diaries.  Or the way the whole country was structured in general.

If I didn’t know that Texas A&M graduates were required to take political science courses, I would think Evans had gone without such classes.  Her views on what is a monarchy is ridiculous.  Case in point, from what I read of the book (which was only half) she viewed the British monarchy as if they weren’t a constitutional monarchy.

I am not shitting you.  There’s a line about how Prince Harry will never marry an American because she A) has no political value and b) no money.  Um, Kate Middleton and Princess Di while not American, did not have extreme political value or money when they married into the royal family.  Just saying.

And besides that little eye rolling moment, the fact that Kai (I keep thinking of the gorgeous Prince Kai from Cinder, not this asshole ) is being coerced into a prearrange married with so many restrictions while his dad was able to marry a Texan of all things made no sense.  In fact, it contradicted the freaking world building.

I just couldn’t compute.

And I partially blame that on the writing.  I just felt a disconnect.  In a lot of ways this book reminded me of a Harlequin.  It was fast paced, there wasn’t a lot of character development, and it was in shitty third person.

What is shitty third person, you might ask?  Well, third person where we don’t learn much about the MCs except a) they’re rich, b) they’re pretty, and c) apparently smart despite acting TSTL.

Okay, to be fair she attempts to form a backstory for our heroine whenever she appears (which is like maybe twenty pages of the book so far), but that backstory makes no freaking sense either.  Violet’s parents won’t let her date because her old sister got knocked up and are trying to force her to go to a college that’s name reminds me of Emetrol (which is anti-nausia medication).   Violet, meanwhile, just wants to date a buy who she’ll go to second base with in less than ten pages after barely saying two words…

Okay, Violet’s parents I sort of get your point.   But why don’t you have a conversation with your daughter about safe sex and self respect, instead of probably increasing the chances you’re going to have another episode of Sixteen and Pregnant in your house by doing the whole you’re forbidden to date crap?

Oh God, I hated the way this book talked about sex.  For some reason, these slush pile books tend to like to use the slut slamming/purity myth tropes more than most mainstream YA books and that’s really saying something.

And it was written in third person….Yeah, these tropes are bad enough though a little bit more reasonable (not really) with first person POVs, but with third it just makes you think the author is a dickwad.

Which I’m sure Evans isn’t ( a dickwad that is), it’s just that in third person I feel more like the author’s talking than a character.

Besides the use of tropes and the poorly crafted characters and flimsy plot, this book just felt disjointed. While Evans usually changed view points every other chapter, there would be an occasional moment where we’d get a random shift in POV with very little transition in the middle of a chapter.  It also didn’t help that I got no sense of time with this story at all.

Also, there were some culturally offensive things about this book too.  Being from Texas, I was sort of appalled that there were characters that were from my state who mocked Kai for having an accent and telling him to talk normal.  Personally, I always thought that Texans generally don’t talk normally (we tend to over use the word ya’ll too much but whatever).  Also, this is not a culture thing but more of a Texas thing, it’s not excruciatingly hot in January.  At worst in the Houston/College Station area (which is where the book took place) the high can be about eighty and that’s like record high.  Usually in January its fairly pleasant  (think like the 60’s for the high).  Whatever though.

Anyway, this is one of those books in which I hoped I was wrong about it.  Honestly, as cheesy as this book sounds it could’ve been sort of interesting.  I love books that are about royalty, especially YA in royalty.  But I just can’t find one redeemable thing about this one and that’s sad.  I recommend not to let curiosity get the better to you on this one.  It’s just as bad as its title makes it out to be.

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One thought on “The Prince with Amnesia: Emily Evans

  1. Pingback: Binge Reviews: Neverland Duloagy by Anna Katmore | Howdy YAL!

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