This list was inspired by the 30 Day challenge that many of my friends are doing on Booklikes. I’m not cool like them, and this month has been extremely busy for me (I started volunteering and am actually using my degree to good use), so I sort of found out about it a bit too late to actually participate. However, after reading some of my friends choices for their least favorite book I had to make my own list about some of the books that I utterly despised.
10) Great Expectations by Charles Dickens: I hated this book. If you read my review of Olivia Twisted, you probably know that I’m not a fan of Dickens. It’s not that I think his work had relevance, it’s just full of melodrama. And boy is Great Expectations full of the melodrama. Unlike The Christmas Carol, which I can actually appreciate since it’s a Christmas story and Christmas stories are always full of melodrama, a lot of the shit that happens in Great Expectations is just too over the top to me. Like Havisham and that wedding dress? How on Earth did that thing stay together forty some odd years later? How did that woman not smell repulsive? And for that matter why did Pip’s relatives put up with him. The only version of this I like is South Park’s version and that won’t give you an A in English class.
9) The Magnolia League by Katie Crouch: Um, size six is not fat. Enough said. Also, it was the first truly negative review I did for my blog (the one that no longer exists or should I say merged into this one) just because it popped that cherry it deserves to be on the list.
8) Tender Triumph by Judith McNaught: I don’t review adult books (usually) but I did this one would get a big fat F. I hated this book with a passion. To be fair though, it was written in the 80’s where he man low life’s were viewed as Prince Charming. I don’t know why this was such a popular trope then, I thought women wanted to be independent in the 80’s. I guess not in Book World.
7) Beautiful Disaster by Jaime McGuire: Why does this even exist? And why is it so popular. This is an awful book where nothing happens except some awful abusive asshole decides to control what his girlfriend wears. No. No. No.
6) Winds of Salem/Frozen by Melissa de la Cruz (and Michael Johnston in the case of Frozen): This one was a tie. I mainly put these two books on here because the combined effort of these two books put de la Cruz on my automatic buy list to my rather die list. Okay, so I might still library her books, but I won’t buy them now. And to be fair, the last few Blue Bloods books weren’t that great. But it was these two books that were the final nail in the coffin. I think both books suffered from similar problems sloppy, immature, writing and a lack of character development. Interesting characters were often ignored for well…characters I couldn’t care less about. Plus, why even give me the potential of Troy/Ingrid when she’s going to get with Wannabe Andy. Seriously, it’s already been proven that Thor (Troy) likes the bookworm type with the way he was looking at Natalie Portman in that movie.
5) Notes From an Accidental Band Geek by Erin Dionne: Where do I begin…I think what bothers me the most about this one is that I’m a band nerd and because of that I have had gotten comments on GR that I’ve “overly harsh” with this one. Rolls eyes. Look, even if it wasn’t for the band stuff I still wouldn’t have liked this one. Elsie is one of the most annoying protagonist’s I’ve come across. And I truly wonder how she’s going to function as an adult. She’s not Sheldon Cooper. Therefore, she has no excuse at being annoying.
4) The Raie’Chalia by Melissa Douthit: How could I not put this turd of a book on this list. Controversy of the author aside, this was one of the most fragmented, boring, and confusing books I ever read. I really could give less about having two entire pages devoted to some post dystopian irrigation system that seems like it’s stuck in the medieval period. And naming your character Chalice? I have no words. The worst thing about this book was that I couldn’t find one thing to justify it’s existence. The rest of these, there are some value to them even if it might be the results of reading too much Twilight.
3) Starseed by Liz Gruder: I don’t even know what to say about this one, but bizarre. It actually might’ve been a decent parody…but it wasn’t a parody and was just weird. Actually, this book showcases my biggest issues with self pub. If you’re going to sell something for money, proofread.
2) What the Spell by Brittany Geragotelis: Oh God. If you’ve read my reviews, you know how I’m a big proponent of YA books having healthy body image. Well, this book slaps that view on it’s ass and then some. Seriously, the MC essentially gives herself magic plastic surgery as soon as she gets a hold of her powers. And her parents are more concerned about her blonde hair than her Kim Kardashian rear.
1) Halo by Alexandra Adornetto: Why is this my number one pick? Because it’s everything that could go wrong with a book and then some. Yes, I get that Alexandra Adornetto was a teen when she wrote this monstrosity, but she had an editing team. They could’ve intervened. The reason I gave this book and it’s sequels the number one spot though is I honestly believe you can read it and learn some things about writing. Andoretto’s writing was influenced heavily by The Twilight Saga. She even wrote essays defending the values that Twilight preached. To say that Halo is a result of YA tropes would be a fair statement. And the result, to me at least, is frightening.