Tuning In: Not Freddie (Witches of East End)

This episode is actually called “Snake Eyes” which isn’t such a bad title, I just want to have a bit of a PSA here for Lifetime, do NOT bring the character Freddie on to the series unless you heavily revamp him.  Because he sucks as a character…that being said, let’s review this episode, which was fairly good save for many anvil hints about that boob of a character, better known as Freddie.

The first scene starts in the bar where Freya is serving breakfast-in a bar.  That doesn’t serve food  Just drinks round the clock.  She’s talking to Ingrid who is back to wearing horrible cardigans-this one an orange/pink  one.  Seriously, Lifetime the actress who plays Ingrid is very pretty but she’s a redhead.  Redheads for the most part do not wear pink.

Oh, God, there’s are lame villain whose name I still don’t remember making some spell which will of course affect the entire episode since the credits flash after her smirk.

Jo tells Wendy that she kept the serpent amulet thing.  Wendy being the only responsible one tells Jo that she’s stupid.  We find out that the serpent is a portal key.  To Asgard of all places.  Funny thing, none of these characters seem to know what Asgard is.  Obviously, they have never seen Thor and therefore are missing out on life.  Seriously, as a former DC purist, I was really missing something until I watched the first Thor on a dare.  Now, I love that movie and Marvel for that matter.  Though I’m still not a Hulk fan for the most part and Batman could probably kick most of their asses anytime becuase well…he’s Batman.

OOh, the library.  Where people check out books.  Well, not this library.  They just check you out and gossip.  If my librarian did that, I’d be pissed.  I mean, I talk to the librarians if I want a book not to talk about hot and not hot patrons.  Mike, Not Andy replacement, is obviously going to be Ingrid’s new squeeze and is doing book research on witches and Asgard.  Once again, someone show him that movie.

Freya is being bitchy to Killian, enough said.  Really, I find all her parts to be eye roll worthy.  You know I’ve read and watched plenty of love triangles, but this one really does remind me of something you’d see on a bad love triangle.  Even that stupid Robin/Patrick/Sabrina triangle that currently is going on General Hospital is better than this.  And we all know Patrick is going to pick Robin as soon as he realizes she’s alive.  Just like Freya will probably pick the bartender because he’s hot and there’s been so much build up between the two of them.  Not actual buildup though, but sexual tension buildup which means when they actually get together it’s going to be awkward.

Wendy visits Jo in her studio where she’s painting Georgia O’Keffe like paintings.  I have no words, except this is the appropriate network for them.  They talk about how the portal and how Wendy knows Joanna wants to bring back him (more about this later in a mini rant).  Jo is all mopey and has to go to the bathroom or whatever and somehow Wendy is stupid enough to get that amulet thing on her wrist.

Back to the library, Ingrid’s stupid friend talks about how Ingrid got her pregnant with that stupid spell.  This is really pretty much useless much like the next scene with Freya and Killian where Killian tells Freya he dumped his girlfriend.  During all this lameness, Freya gets delivered some what we find out to be deadly-ish flowers and the big bad decides to show up.

Welcome to Evil Wendy, the serpent seems to be controlling you.  Plan to roll and groan during this whole sequence.  Especially when they talk about Freddie who was one of the lamest (if not the lamest) character in the series.  Seriously, this is a character that’s stupid enough to sign a contract in blood without even reading the damn thing.  What’s next, Lifetime, are you going to bring in those stupid pixies?

Please say no, please say no, please say no……

Freya passes out and is taking back to the Big Bad’s lair where she’s given some tea. And since Freya is the show’s Disney princess, she drinks it.  Obviously, there are consequences.  And at this point I wonder why I even bother with this stupid show.

Ingrid’s at the library and bonds with New Not Andy they talk about his work and her work.  All I really know is that they really need to not focus on having Ingrid in a relationship at this point.  I think it would do wonders for her character, if they developed her as a single woman instead of trying to force all these guys down the viewers throat.  And maybe, she could get a makeover when she’s having some me time.  Seriously, the hair and cardigans are horrible this episode.  And it’s sort of sad because the actress  is pretty and some of the outfits she wears has redeemable features.

Man, Wendy is really giving it to Jo.  I wouldn’t mind so much if it wasn’t the constant mentioning of Freddie and now Jo’s husband.  I really was hoping those two characters were gone.  I liked Jo with hot lawyer guy.  They should’ve kept him.

Back to the library, Ingrid gets schooled on Asgard.  And I just have to once again laugh at her ineptness of not ever seeing Thor.  Or even flipping on the TV and seeing the trailer of the film which undoubtedly mentions Asgard.  Man, if Lifetime actually does decide to go to Asgard, I have a feeling it’s going to be hilariously bad.

While Jo is trying to battle Evil Wendy, the Big Bad sucks out Freya’s soul…er magic.  Dash dashes (ha, ha, bad pun) right before she gets to the soul sucking dementor stage and saves her life and they make up.  Only catch is Freya can’t use her magic now.

Jo eventually gets the upper hand on Wendy and she becomes de-brainwashed just as teh girls come home.  Ingrid tells her mother about Asgard, Jo freaks out but really doesn’t tell her anything.  Seriously, when will she ever learn.  And of course, all attention turns to Freya when she comes home and says her magic is gone.

At this point I’m just annoyed.  There were lots of nice things about this episode.  But I just feel like the pacing on this show is messed up.  Things are dragging.  I could care less about the twenty minute circle-go-round conversations involving Freddie.  And once again, I’m going to reiterate that I hope Lifetime does not go there.  Up until this point, most of the changes they have made have actually been on the smart side.  I enjoyed the insertion of Wendy, the killing of Not Andy, and the deaging of Jo.  But Freddie, really?  Well, I got over Bram being named Dash (well, sort of).  Both are stupid names.  Just like I’m pretty sure Freddie will be dumb in this incarnation, if he should appear, too.

Overall Rating: C+


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