Do Judge a Book by Its Cover: Caroling, Caroling

It’s the holiday season and there are tons of radio stations and TV stations devoted to Christmas music.  In this entry of Do Judge a Book by Its Cover, I decided to feature covers that remind me of the various song that are playing right now.

The Carol: Baby It’s Cold Outside

What the Cover Says to Me: Once a popular fan fic  “Babies and Penguins”, the novel covers the what if if Bella and Edward would’ve honeymooned on Antarctica instead of Isle Esme.  Of course, since this P2P is now original fiction Bella’s name is changed to Ella and Edward just becomes Eduardo and the whole vampire thing has been changed to Norse gods.  However, the P2P still kept the zombie penguins.  Because zombie penguins and smut are why this fic originally had ten million reviews before it’s author decided to P2P it.

What the Book is Really About: It’s the sequel to last year’s 16 and Pregnant in space, Mothership.  Which was actually one of the biggest surprises for me in 2012.   And yes, it actually takes place in Antarctica.

Verdict: Ugh.  I actually preferred the cartoon cover that they had in the first one.  This one just looks a little bit too much like a joke.  And seriously, leather pants after giving birth?  Excuse me, but no.  No.  No.  No.  Unless, of course, you’re Heidi Klum or someone.

The Carol: I Saw Three Ships

What the Cover Says to Me: Allure is a siren.  It’s her job to sink ships just the same as her ancestors.  It doesn’t matter if your a cute boy or not, she’s an equal opportunity drowner.  However, there are exceptions.  And no, it does not involve insta love.  Instead, it involves a bargain that might release Allure’s people from the curse that had been placed on them long ago.  However, how can a siren trust a snarky wizard pirate who has three ships?

What the Book is Really about: A dystopia retelling of The Scarlet Pimpernel.

Verdict: These covers are always outstanding, but really don’t fit the book that much at all.

 

 The Carol: Last Christmas (duh)

What the Cover Says to Me: She gave her heart away to the wrong person.  Just like the song says, duh.  And now Gabby must walk around all  morose in outwear that you only see in the movies until she finds the right person.  Since this is a holiday book it will include the hot (but I didn’t notice) best friend who takes her around to cheer her up on the holidays.  They’ll probably go skating, drink hot cocoa and do other obnoxious things that people always talk about doing around the holidays but never do in real life.

What the Book is Really About: If you read the Private series than you know that this is its shocking preview.  Sipping cocoa really is not the tone for this book.

Verdict: It’s okay.  Honestly, the book looks a lot more cheerful than it really is.

The Song: Let it Snow!

What the Cover Says to Me: The apocalypse has hit again. Now the dystopian society that are heroine, Balto, has lived in all her life has been destroyed.  Balto was at the top of her society that hurt the masses in the typical dystopian fashion.  But now she has to rely on the members of society that she abused for most of her life who are finally realizing that the ruling class that Balto is a member of are a bunch of dicks.  Will they throw her to the wolves, or will they help her survive the trip through the snow.

What the Book is Actually About: About a wolf obsessed girl who really needs help controlling her bestiality, but never actually gets it.

Verdict: Meh.  Honestly, I don’t know.  Sometimes its simplicity works, sometimes it doesn’t.

 

Carol: Winter Wonderland

What The Cover Says: It was a romance that obviously wouldn’t work.  She was an elf.  He was a snow person.  However, somehow they got together.  And despite the fact that if she actually wants to see him she has to be in an environment of 32 or below, Tinsel, is head over heels in love with Frost.  However, their relationship is put to the test when Santa wants to relocate the North Pole closer to the equator since their are no taxes in the island nation where he wants to build his new factory.

What the Book is Really About: Two college kids get stranded in his mom’s ski cabin during Xmas break.  They have lots of sex.

Verdict: It’s a pretty cover, but I really don’t get why his chest is bare if she’s wearing outerwear.

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