Obviously, Scott Never Played the Oregon Trail: Fire & Flood by Victoria Scott

Notice: I received an ARC of this, via Netgalley.  My opinion has not been effective by this.

Please Note in the writing of this review there was no harm to animals.  Instead, two terriers cuddled by the review writer’s feet and two Beagles are munching on chew bones.  These pets would never be forced to go in a jungle or walk in the desert.  In fact, one terrier is barely allowed outside by herself in case she has a seizure.  They should all read this book so that they are grateful that they are treated so well even though they do not have a pet duck of their own (long story).

Unfortunately, Patty Beagle won’t be reading this book either.  Some things should be kept from your dog’s eyes.  Especially in a book that’s last act involved pet killing.

Well, pandora killing, but they are technically  pets (or Pokemon) I think.

So, animal lovers beware.  This one is a disaster in waiting for you.

That being said, if you’re into pets getting whacked, let’s look at Fire & Flood.

If I was to describe this book to you, I’d say that Scott was probably so too many adds for Run for the Cure got that stuck in her head and then watched The Hunger Games a thousand times and wondered how Katniss would’ve behind if she was obsessed with Maxfactor.

I kid you not.  That’s what this book is with some horrible scenes thrown in from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

To be fair to this book though, it had some things going for it.  Like ocassionally there would be a glimpse of the Scott that you see in the Dante Walker books, but then poof it would be gone replaced by….well, I don’t know just how to describe it.

I spent a good chunk of this book wondering if this book was a dystopia, a contemporary with a bit of magical realism, a fantasy, an alternative world or what.  Finally, I just gave up trying to classify it.  And it’s not because my issues were resolved.  Rather, because my annoyances went elsewhere.

Like with the main character.  Seriously, Tella, do you really have to be so vain?  It would be one thing too if her vanity was noted.  Instead, its portrayed as if she’s a good person.  She really isn’t.  She really doesn’t think that much about her brother during all of this.  Rather, it’s about the hot naked tattoo boy next to her in the desert and how she’s happy that he’s perving over her.

Yeah, she says that.  Oh, yes, I’m happy that a practically random stranger  is staring at my naked tits and bum.  Never mind it’s the desert and at night and it’s ridiculously cold.  And even though we have supplies, it’s better to engage in the you’ll be warmer naked cliche.

Or for that matter never mind the fact, that when you play  Oregon Trail 2 you’re more successful traveling the desert during the night than day but in this race…travel during the heat of the day.  Heat exhaustion, dehydration….psssh who ever heard of those things.

Just like who would ever think twice before taking a pill or running off for a race for a magic cure that they never heard of before or never even had the decency to Google, are darling MC that’s who.  She just jumps in her car and leaves.  And what does her family do when she leaves, well, write her a letter of course.  Even though they have no idea where she goes.

Because I try to inflict logic into books, I have rationalized this scene by thinking this is what might’ve happened:

Mother: My daughter’s missing.  She ran away because she bought some scam that said it would give her wonder drugs.

Cop: (Nods head) Ma’m, when was the last time you saw your daughter?

 Mother: Last night, then this magical box….

 Cody: Mom, what’s going on?

 Mother: Your sister’s missing she’s out for some quest for some wonder drug.  The police are going to do something.

 Cop: Actually, no.  I can’t really begin an investigation until you contact, Tella.

Mother: Cody, write Tella a letter.

Cody: But where will I address it to.  We don’t know where Tella went?

Cop: Oh, we borrow JK Rowling’s owls for assistance in that.  They know where everyone is.  Muggle or magical.

Mother: But this is a Victoria Scott book not a JK Rowling book.

Cop: We’re the book police.  We have our ways.

Yes, I have to use a JK Rowling crossover to explain this logic mess.  Either that or the NSA is somehow involved.  Though considering that Edward Snowden would’ve probably already squealed on that one had to go with option one.

I know I sound harsh, but I really had hopes for this one.  I really did enjoy Victoria Scott’s Dante Walker books.  However, everything I loved about those books weren’t in this series.  While Dante Walker doesn’t have that sophisticated of world building, you get the world that Scott sets the books in, the characters make sense, I don’t have to use the book police to explain their actions.  Plus, Dante’s enjoyable even though he can be a vain dick. Here though, sigh…I don’t think I’ll probably be reading the sequel even though the ending’s cliffhanger did interest me somewhat.

Overall Rating: Three out of ten (D).



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