If Only McBeth Would’ve Read This Would’ve Saved Us a Tragedy:Fates by Lanie Bross

And now it’s time to play counter literary history.  In which McBeth’s opinions about the witches (better known to literary snots as the three fates) is impeded.  Undoubtedly, this would’ve occurred if he had gotten his slimy paws on Fates by Lanie Boss and think of how that would’ve ruined your high school literature experience.

The stereotypical Fates look.

Actually, a lot of people would be glad about that until they actually read Fates.

Dear lord, people. It’s books like this that make me think anyone can get traditionally published.  People who snot about independent books not being professional…well, hello have you read Fates?

I haven’t read something that just made me want to throw it at the wall well….I’ve blocked it out the last time I threw a book at the wall. Needless to say, its going to be on my Quarterly Report.

So, what’s Fates about?  Well, Cornithe is almost near the end of her penance for not breaking the rules and decides to fuck up again.  That’s basically it.

And yes, I’m going to be using the word fuck a lot in this review.  And I’m sorry about this, but my sheer hate for this book won’t let me be PG so there you’ve been warned.  Children, cover your eyes.

I think what makes me the angriest about this piece of shit was that there was potential.  The three fates are shrouded with so much mystery there are so many ways that Bross could’ve gone with this one, but of course she had to go with the stereotypical YA she falls for a boy oh its magic plot.

You know sort of plot I’m talking about.  Where the stupid YA heroine falls in love with someone she’s not supposed to and OMG if they’ve together they’ll destroy the world.  This is even a worst version of that storyline and I really didn’t think that possible.

To be honest, when I picked it up I sort of expect it to have the problems of that storyline.  Stupid heroine.  Abusive male lead that has an amount of siblings to rival the Duggars and random bad guy that appears that threatens their fragile love.  It’s the same old story over and over again, though admittedly  it can be some what interesting if done right.

We don’t even get that bland story.

Instead, we get something blander than that and almost incomprehensible.

Forget the faiths.  Instead we get bizarre fantasy like world with little to no world building that somehow involves parallel  universes and drug addict sisters who turn into blood nymphs.

And no, I’m not joking about that.

You want a donut?  I know I did after reading this.

Or coffee.  Maybe that would help the two headache that was escalated by reading this POS.

The romance was undeveloped.  It actually surprised me (in not a good way, obviously).  I didn’t care for either of these characters and I even missed the sappiness that you usually see with insta  love couples.  That’s how bad the chemistry was between the two of them.  I don’t know what Luc saw in Corinthe other than the fact she had purple eyes.  I mean, girl act like a sociopath bitch for most of the novel.

I will give it to Bross for not making this M.C. feel human.  But God, what an apathetic tool who suddenly can’t do anything because of love.

Seriously.

Seriously.

Why is it always love?

Well, maybe it was something else before, but I didn’t see (or care) to really notice.

That’s not good, people.  There was nothing about this book that interested me.  If I wasn’t bored half to death I really wouldn’t have bothered reading all of it.  It was just droll.

I almost think that Bross didn’t know what to do with this book which is sort of silly considering that the entire book was packaged.

Have a mentioned I feel particular disdain towards book packagers.  I get why authors have to go that route, it makes sense in an industry that’s heavily networked.  But God…  I just sort of get that dirty feeling I get when I talk about P2P-ing.

And you can always tell when a book is packaged, even when its done by the best of authors.  There’s just something that’s so artificially commercial about the product.  And admittedly I have enjoyed some packaged books, like the first four Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants novels (seriously was Brashares trying to be like Nicholas Sparks in that abomination of a fifth book), but it doesn’t mean I don’t feel slightly dirty after reading them.  Or for that matter, that I’m really going to get a quality book.

Enjoyable.  Yes.  But quality…

Not so much.

But one thing about packaged books is that their plots generally seem to be linear, that’s because there’s so much planning going on between the packager and the author.  This book though seems like seat at your pants max with not so much revising.  Which is really frustrating on so many levels.

I really don’t know what else to say.  I could continue to rant about bland characters and poorly crafted world building, but why bother?   This one is going be forgotten sooner than later.

Overall Rating: F.  You had a great concept and failed.  The only thing remotely good about you would be that you would quite possibly stop the tragedy that was McBeth.  But I liked that play so, yeah book, you suck.

 

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One thought on “If Only McBeth Would’ve Read This Would’ve Saved Us a Tragedy:Fates by Lanie Bross

  1. Pingback: Top Ten Tuesday: Books on my Summer 2015 Reading LIst | Howdy YAL!

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