Tons of YA books have been turned to movies. Tons of NA books have been optioned as movies-not that I’ve seen them hit the big screen yet, but it’s pretty inevitable. So with that being said I decided to look at the books out there in those two genres that are best suited for Lifetime movies. Of course, since I have to make this blog entry somewhat entertaining I’ll be providing some of the changes that only Lifetime can do.
What Is It About: A girl finds out she’s special (yawn, I know) and goes to vampire boarding school.
Why It’s Perfect For Lifetime: Fake female empowerment. Lifetime loves the idea of girl!power, but when you get down to it, the execution always fails. The House of Night series provides a perfect setting for them to exploit this theme with its supposed matriarchal ran vampire society. When we all know that the Casts idea of matriarchal just means Zoey can have a harem.
Lifetime Changes: I don’t know if Neferet could run around naked in the Lifetime version. And I do think they’d have to cut Zoey’s harem a bit. Might I recommend Heath. However, since Lifetime has hinted it’s keeping dumb ass Freddie in their adaptation of Melissa de la Cruz’s Witches of East End, I have my doubts they’d actually eliminate the douche.
What’s It About: A girl gets her magic powers and zaps herself a new rack and butt.
Why It’s Perfect for Lifetime: Because Lifetime has been trying to create paranormal shows as of late and this would appeal to the younger audience.
Changes: Oh yes, I’m sure Brooklyn would learn the importance of inner beauty. And usually these Lifetime lectures bother me. But in this case, I’m all for them getting on that pulpit.
What is This About: The most selfish angel ever decides to ruin everyone’s life so that she can go to the prom.
Why Is It Perfect For Lifetime: Oh, the lessons that Bethie preaches are just like what you’d see out of an old school Lifetime movie. Take a sip of alcohol-die. Have sex before marriage-die. Don’t go to church-die and go to hell.
Lifetime Changes: Bethie would probably have a little bit more of a personality. For some reason I could see them trying to make her sing or something. Turn her, Ivy, and Gabriel into the Von Trapp family but with angels. They’d probably sing annoying Christian rock that has sanctimonious undertones that would make the town all obnoxious.
What Is It About: Like most new adult romances a “plain Jane” falls in love with the so called dark BMOC who’s a total jackwad. Of course, this is ignored for the rest of the novel.
Why This is Perfect for Lifetime: Because the love that is Tabby (Travis and Abby) is the sort of love that Lifetime keeps trying to warn us about. It could be interesting where they take this.
Changes: I could see this going in two directions 1) Travis is softened by introducing a guy that’s even worse then him-Lifetime would probably change Parker’s character and make him do something appalling to Abby or 2) Travis would be made to even more of a sociopath. I sort of hope they would go with two.
What is It About: How do I describe this one without wanting to stab myself with something. An overweight girl endures being constantly fat shamed, told its good to be bulimic, a constant butt load of slut slamming, rape shaming. Oh, and she tries to kill herself multiple times and add mental health slamming as well.
Why Is This Perfect For Lifetime: Because it has all the makings of a Lifetime melodrama fest. Except for the fact there’s no Dean Cain. Because there is no romance in this book and that’s probably a good thing.
Changes: No. This is why this one is number one. It is horrible enough to be a horrible Lifetime movie on its own. Just hire the standard cast and crew. And I think this is one that many people will be making snarky remarks about on Twitter.