Fucked Up YA Adaptions: Vampire Academy

It’s been awhile since I reviewed a YA adaption.

Well, I watched Vampire Academy this weekend-I had a sinus infection and was on a wide array of antibiotics and steroids.  I think that’s what made the movie actually tolerable.  That and I went in with low expectations.

Yes, I’ve seen a lot of hate for this film.

And I  totally get it.

But it’s honestly not the worst YA adaption I’ve ever seen.

That still goes to The Princess Diaries 2  (oh, how I loathe that movie).

And while I think about it, Ella Enchanted was pretty shitty too.  But, Vampire Academy  has a breed of foul all to itself.

It doesn’t know what it wants to be.  Half of the time its trying to be a bad copy of Mean Girls.  Half of the time it’s channeling its inner Harry Potter.  And then swirl in a little Twilight in there and you get this mess.

When your movie can’t decide what it wants to be, how can your audience watch it?

It also doesn’t help that there were a lot of styling and bad action sequences and CGI to boot.

I think one of the biggest issues though was the casting.

Why are you making poor Dimitri look like Professor Snape, stylist?  You know, I’m already weary enough with that relationship.  But throw in the Snape hair and I have some flashbacks to some rather dicey Hermione/Snape fanfics I accidentally read.

Well, you do get a nice hair flip with the Snape.

And they were quite bad by the way.  Not Snarry or Snaco bad.  But bad.

Look, I get that Dimitri is older than Rose in the books, fully accept that.  But in the movie he seems a lot older than her than he does on paper.  At least on paper, I have leeway.  But in the movie, I just can’t accept it.  There was one scene I was just wanting to hit the panic button and get Sexual Harassment Panda all up their ass. I blame the Snape hair.

I did like the Lissa and Christian relationship though.  Though Lissa’s accent drove me crazy.  Who did she think she was, a reject of The City of Bones movie?

The accents in this movie were hilarious.  Just like the movie itself, it seems like it just doesn’t exactly know what it wants to be.

The writing was more or less in the vein of Mean Girls which for the most part worked.  Oh, sure the series doesn’t have that tone.  But I sort of like some of the quips that were in there.  That being said though, a lot of times it just didn’t work.


Because for one rather lame dance scene, the setting and everything else about the movie didn’t scream Mean Girls.

Still though, when you’re on a heavy dosage of antibiotics and steroids and the rooms spinning around and you smell like Vicks, it’s not that bad.

Not that great either.

In fact, it felt rather fragmented to be honest.

And that I blame on the rather lame special effects that they used all their budget on.

I got to tell you that opening action sequence with Rose and Dimitri.


That was pretty much how I reacted to every special effect thing they tried to do with this one.

I think the thing that probably was the most upsetting to me (and to a lot of people) about this movie is that this should’ve been the one.  Vampire Academy is a pretty good book.  And I enjoyed it’s sequel.  I finally actually have bit the bullet and just bought the rest of the series so that I can do a binge read on it, sooner than later.  But the movie just doesn’t do it justice.  It almost belittles it.

Odd as that sounds.

I mean, shouldn’t a movie adaption promote it’s source material.  But in this case, it doesn’t.

I don’t know, if you’re a die hard Vampire Academy fan you might want to give it a try just so that you did, but personally it just sort of leaves a weird aftertaste on my view on what otherwise has been a rather enjoyable series.

Overall Grade: C-


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