Fucked Up YA Adaptions: Beautiful Creatures

Unlike most of the films I view, I haven’t actually read Beautiful Creatures.

I’m actually surprised it’s sort of got past my radar. Especially after I watched the movie, because something that God awful my curiosity streak would be like MJ totally check it out at the library.

Yeah…don’t plan on doing it anytime any soon.

Unless the book is a dramatic improvement from the movie.  Because God…dear lord.

This film makes City of Bones look like Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Vampire Academy look like it should be Oscar nominated worthy.  And it even makes me long for the days of the cringe worthiness of The Princess Diaries 2 and Avalon High just because it would keep me awake.

Oh, yes.  Beautiful Creatures made me want to go asleep the same way Twilight did.  But  The Twilight Saga is an overall better film franchise (not that this one will ever get a sequel).

So, what went wrong besides the use of Twilight boring cinematography and a script that look like it was written by Maleficent?

Lots of things.

I think what really bothered me, before we continue this discussion any further.  Is the fake Southern accents.

I like in Texas.  While it’s not a full forced Southern drawl here, I can still tell what a real deep South accent sound like and most of the cast does not have it.  Unless they want to be an extra from the Sweet Evil trailer.


Also, other Southern stereotypes really had the eyes a rolling.

Just because someone lives South of the Mason Dixon line does not mean they are backwards.

However, try telling this movie otherwise.

The actors were pretty bland.  While there were some famous faces peaking through as supporting roles, the leads though were just, well, boring.  I couldn’t connect with these characters.

If you haven’t read the book or seen the movie, I guess the best way to describe Beautiful Creatures is Twilight with the gender roles flipped.  And oh, witches and magic are involved instead of vampires (hence, the Maleficent reference).

Or at least that’s what I got out of the movie.

Of course, there were subplots that I didn’t really pay attention to.  Because this was one of those movies, you just couldn’t pay attention to.

Which is sad, because from what I got I think the subplot could’ve been the most interesting part.  Besides, all the historical inaccurate Civil War flashbacks that looked like they came right out of of Eclipse (well, hello Major Whitlock).

Honestly, from what I saw the movie really felt phone in.  It was like all you need to sale a YA movie is starcrossed love.  Some lame magic.  And two teenagers that are relatively attractive.  Get some big names to make some cameos and instant success.

It didn’t work though.

Honestly, when Beautiful Creatures first came off I had to run a GoodReads search to remind myself just what book this was.  Maybe if I read the series, I would’ve felt some more engagement to it.  But just as a movie, it didn’t work.

This is actually a shorter review than I usually give, but I really don’t have a whole lot to say about this movie.  Save for the horrendous accents, there’s nothing remotely interesting about it.  Or really anything to talk about. Just Boring.

Overall Rating: Snore. D. Look, it didn’t offend me or anything but it didn’t interest me as well.  Paying attention to this one was more difficult than it should be.


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