This Book Needs to Hit an Iceberg: The Trouble With Destiny by Lauren Morrill

It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey…

With her trusty baton and six insanely organized clipboards, drum major Liza Sanders is about to take Destiny by storm—the boat, that is. When Liza discovered that her beloved band was losing funding, she found Destiny, a luxury cruise ship complete with pools, midnight chocolate buffets, and a $25,000 spring break talent show prize.

Liza can’t imagine senior year without the band, and nothing will distract her from achieving victory. She’s therefore not interested when her old camp crush, Lenny, shows up on board, looking shockingly hipster-hot. And she’s especially not interested in Russ, the probably-as-dumb-as-he-is-cute prankster jock whose ex, Demi, happens be Liza’s ex–best friend and leader of the Athenas, a show choir that’s the band’s greatest competition.

But it’s not going to be smooth sailing. After the Destiny breaks down, all of Liza’s best-laid plans start to go awry. Liza likes to think of herself as an expert at almost everything, but when it comes to love, she’s about to find herself lost at sea.

Source: GoodReads

Note: I received a DRC from Netgalley this did not influence my opinion on this book.  Although, I appreciate the opportunity. 

I wouldn’t want to be on this boat.

It would sink fast.  Way, way, fast.  And it would be such a boring boat full of idiots.  Who would want to be on a boat full of idiots?  And a boring boat at that?

Annoying Book Comparison for This Book: It’s like an after school special meets The Love Boat with some Full House music sequences thrown in but without John Stamos to make the Olsen twins bearable.

Yes, I said The Love Boat as in that show Anderson Cooper’s mom guest starred on and with  that annoying song that gets stuck in your head.

THE LOOOOOOVE BOAT…..

That’s what this book is about.

I was actually really happy to get a DRC of this book.  Because it seems like it should be things I like: 1) Band, 2) Cruises, 3) Disaster Cruises.

The third thing is so not true.  There is no Carnival poo boat incident much to my disdain.  Yes, I wanted and expected a Carnival incident to happen on this ship because it would’ve been so much better than the boring book we got.

Because maybe Anderson Cooper would’ve made an appearance via helicopter.

Alas, Anderson Cooper fails to save this book.

I bet if he was there, he would’ve told Morrill that oboe players generally don’t march because the instrument costs as much as a small car and that it’s extremely touchy and a reed can easily be used a projectile weapon.

He would also tell her that marching season usually coincides with football season and that since the Super Bowl is generally in late January early February NOT March which is when this competition took place.

Also, Anderson Cooper would probably remark about how most cruise ships are ill equip to handle a marching band.

Why am I mentioning Anderson so much?

It’s so not intentional. I guess it’s because he calls people out on their shit.  And there’s a lot of shit to be called out on this one.

Which is a shame because it really has a lovely premises, you know if something happened other than silly teenage shenanigans that could only happen in the Simon Pulse Romantic Comedy series in the mid 2000’s.

Yes, it’s that cheese-a-rific which would be fine, you know, if  it wasn’t so cringe worthy.

And I liked at least one of the character.

But no, not one of them.

Also, I hate to say this, but I really have to wonder if Morrill had any band experience.  The drum major seems to have a lot more power than the drum majors at my school ever did.  And the band director seemed to do nothing…in fact, I think he wins a Golden Charlie*.

Just like the character’s roles seem unrealistic, the characters themselves seem like caricatures.   The main character is ridiculously anal, to the point where no one should’ve wanted to be around her.  The love interests personalities were hot guy one and hot guy two.  Both get involved in some crazy roll your eyes worthy hijinks with the main character.  And one is obviously the jerk.

I just can’t recommend this book.  I found myself skimming through it very early on.  Which is a shame, because I know Lauren Morrill can write some good stuff. I think this is the first book of hers that really felt packaged and that’s a shame.

Overall Rating: Hmm, should I give it points for potential?  Yeah, I’m feeling generous.  A D for some good ideas, but it really had a horrible execution.

 

*For those of you who don’t know, the Golden Charlies are an award given to incompetent adults in YA.  Their counterpart, a Golden Bella goes to incompetent teenage girl’s who don’t give a rat’s ass about their own lives.

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2 thoughts on “This Book Needs to Hit an Iceberg: The Trouble With Destiny by Lauren Morrill

  1. Ha, I know what The Love Boat is. 🙂 Because actors were on Boy Meets World for an episode. I have to say though, I didn’t think the Olsen twins (bless their hearts) made the show bearable. Haha.

    Let’s see, I couldn’t deal with the main character’s….obsessiveness. And I wouldn’t be able to take two hot guys, one of which is the token jerk.

    I’ll have to give this one a pass. Well written review. 🙂 Loved the Cooper mentioning.

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