Awesomly Lifetime and Hallmark: My Gal Sunday or Hey Soap Stars

I decided to resurrect this feature.  Mainly, because I have a new cable service (meaning, no DVR) but I do now get the Hallmark Channel and their movies are like how Lifetime movies used to be before they started showing Intervention all the time-there’s only so many times you can watch an addict putting needles in their arms without wanting to throw up.  Plus, I find myself tuning into the channel a lot when I watch live TV.

The first movie of choice for this resurrection My Gal Sunday starring two mimbos from daytime television and some blonde chick who I don’t really  know.  I’m mainly checking out this movie because Cameron Mathison-who played Ryan Lavery-is in it.  And his acting is just hilari-bad.  A bonus is that Jack Wagner-aka deadbeat spy daddy, Frisco Jones, is on there too.  Alas, there is no Robert Scorpio or Todd Manning to add into the mix.

The Gist:

Based off of a Mary Higgins Clark book where there’s a husband and wife mystery solving team.  A bit like Heart to Heart but without the cute dog and the butler.  Instead, the husband is an ex president and the wife is in politics herself (soit’s sort of like the Clintons  meet Heart to Heart, scary thought).  The movie is a little different, they drop the ex president thing.  Because, come on.  There is no way that Ryan Lavery is going to be president.  Even Pine Valley was smart enough not to vote him for mayor and with the way the writing made all those characters mindless idiots at the end, that’s saying something.  Instead, the main characters are portrayed as successful pretty people.  You see Ryan Lavery (I will always think of Cameron as Ryan, so I will refer to him a lot as Ryan) working out a lot with Frisco Jones where we’re told he served as governor and  secretary of state (Ryan that is).

My reaction when I heard that Daytime’s dumbest is negotiating international deals. I’m sure Hillary Clinton would act in a similar fashion.

 

Frisco we learn, is/was a super secret spy.  That I can actually buy thanks to General Hospital in the 80’s and early 90’s.  And just for you to know, Frisco no longer has the mullet.

The world can rejoice.

Of course, the movie really doesn’t start until Frisco is kidnapped and Ryan has to call Robert Scorpio to find him.

Okay, he doesn’t call Robert.  Ryan and Sunday (his wife) get their Heart to Heart on and solve the case.

Review:

The actual acting in the movie.  Is bad, bad, bad.  If I wanted a quality performance I would’ve turned it off probably within five minutes of watching it.  But I wanted to watch the bad acting because come on…Ryan Lavery is the prince of bad actors.  It’s like Cameron’s speciality.  Plus, he is impossibly good looking so that’s something good too.

Oh, and you can take a drink every time he refers to the tile.

That happens like every two minutes in the movie..

The wife is just as wooden.  There is only one woman I’ve seen Ryan have chemistry with and that is Princess Gillian who was killed tragically by an assassin right before she and Ryan went on their honeymoon in Pine Valley.  Oh, wait…

It’s so hard not to think of this guy as his soap character.

He even does all sort of soap things in this movie like give Sunday (his wife in this movie) jewelry.  Or maybe that’s more like a Kay’s commercial.

Of course, all those romantic snuggly times get interrupted when  Frisco gets himself kidnapped (I still think Faison did it).  But still these two are so wooden and perfect, I just do not get why we couldn’t make these characters a little complex.  I am just glad they dropped the two powerful politicians thing.  Though, imagining Ryan as a former governor/secretary of state is bad enough.

Seriously, I cannot imagine this guy talking about international politics.  State politics I can understand, because I’ve had the displeasure of living in a state where an idiot is routinely elected.  And let’s not forget about the governator.  But having Ryan as secretary of state…    It’s almost as bad as Frisco getting kidnapped.  Asides from Robert Scorpio (who really should’ve just saved everyone’s ass in this movie), he was the Chuck Norris of Port Charles.

It’s almost as bad as trying to believe that Sunday was a Stanford law student who was number one in her class and graduated first in class at Georgetown and has a total Perry Mason complex.  Seriously, guys, this is not what lawyers do. If you think it is, you have a rude awakening in law school when instead of learning about how to get your inner Nancy Drew on you learn about personal jurisdiction.  And then even AFTER you graduate from law school, you’re still learning about personal jurisdiction because you move and have to study for yet another bar exam.

I wanted to deck all these perfect characters in their face.

Honestly, watching this I almost felt like I was going back in time save for the modern furnishings and clothing.  It is written how a movie would’ve been written in the late 80’s or early 90’s.  I think that’s why I keep comparing it to Heart to Heart. To be fair to Hallmark, they really didn’t have much to work with.  The actual book is a bit of a disaster, and you can only go so far revising a two characters that used to be a beloved JFK like president without the assassination and adultery and a sad Hillary Clinton wannabe who lacks the brains to be the next president of the United States-and probably couldn’t pull off pantsuits or have a series of memes either.

Lifetime/Hallmark Squeal:

I’ll give it to Hallmark they really up the ante on the squeal factor.  Although, Dean Cain is not featured in this movie (he’s featured in many of a Hallmark features, his attractiveness varying from feature to feature-do not watch that movie with the cupcake shop, he is not doing it there) we have two of daytime’s biggest menbos.  They might not be the best actors, but man are they pretty to look at.  Ryan needs to lay off the Botox though and Frisco might want to moderate the fake baking.  But it’s overall a very attractive cast.

OMG Lifetime/Hallmark Moment:

Hmm, what is probably the most Lifetimey about this movie is that they try to portray Sunday as this tough woman, but fails.  In a lot of ways she’s like a bad YA character.  Which is a pity.  She always has to be rescued/helped by Mr. Ex Secretary of State ex Governor ex Future President ex Future Leader of the Galaxy etc.

Overall Rating:

Hmm, a think I’ll give this a C or five out of ten Dean Cains.  Got to keep the Cain score.  The movie is unbearably predictable, burt seeing soap stars in other roles is always fun.  The good news for me is that another Hallmark movie comes on in a few weeks that stares Ryan Lavery and Sammi from Days of Our Lives, if anyone will give Ryan a vasectomy ( a horrible storyline in All My Children history)  its Sammi.  So, I’ll have to watch.

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