Awesomely Lifetime/Hallmark: Double Daddy (or Let the Intern Write a Movie)

Holy crap!

This movie is insane.

In a horrible only Lifetime sort of way.

The Gist:

So, this dude knocks up two girls at his local high school.  One of them is his girlfriend and the other is some loony tune psychotic chick that is portrayed so horribly you think that Lifetime had a misogynic intern write this movie since nothing about pregnancy or anything in this movie was correct. Just horrible slut slamming and trying to white wash Conner for his douche-ness by making Heather a psycho.

Review:

Eh…

I think this movie was produced by someone with connections because that’s the only way it could’ve ever come to be.  It is truly, truly, truly awful.

In every aspect.

It’s misogynic.  It doesn’t understand remotely anything about pregnancy or the fact addressed the other two viable options other than keeping the baby-though adoption is mentioned maybe for about three minutes of dramatic tension until they spot said baby and release-oh, we can be the best parents ever because our parents are like loaded and we’ll never have to work a day in our lives, bitches.

I have no words.

The acting is terrible too.  As I’ll mention in the squeal section, I’m pretty sure these actors were only hired because they were physically attractive.  No one had lasting acting power.

Anytime Heather was on there and was acting psychotic I just laughed because it was unrealistic.

I was hoping when I read the summary about this one on my TV guide that it would be more about the two girls bonding with each other after they find out what a douche Conner is.

But no it’s just about crazy Heather and Conner screaming Aman-duh.

God….

Lifetime Squeal:

Conner is as bland as they come.  Although, he’s good looking in the Justin Beiber overgrown boy scout sort of way (I’m talking pre tattoo inspired by Teen Mom Justin).  Really, not my thing (sorry).  Really everyone in this movie including the parents could be deemed attractive.  I thought about surfing IMDB on this one and seeing how many of the casts were underwear models/daytime television stars at one time in their career.  I have a feeling it would be a lot of them. Not surprisingly, their acting skills were limited (I think they try to up the attraction level when they know the acting is going to suck).

OMG Lifetime Moment:

I’ll list some of the most outrageous moments here.  There’s quite a few:

  • Two heavily pregnant teenagers falling over a cliff and both being okay and their respected fetuses are completely fine.
  • Anytime Heather tries to look crazy (half of the movie).
  • Anytime Heather attempts to use social media.
  • Anytime Conner screams Aman-duh (note, he would’ve been  perfect to cast as Ryan Lavery’s wayward teenage son)

Dean Cain Rating Score:

Um, Dean Cain fails you.  But it was amusing because it was ridiculously bad.

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