Should’ve Been All the Poops: All the Feels by Danika Stone

College freshman Liv is more than just a fangirl: The Starveil movies are her life… So, when her favorite character, Captain Matt Spartan, is killed off at the end of the last movie, Liv Just. Can’t. Deal.

Tired of sitting in her room sobbing, Liv decides to launch an online campaign to bring her beloved hero back to life. With the help of her best friend, Xander, actor and steampunk cosplayer extraordinaire, she creates #SpartanSurvived, a campaign to ignite the fandom. But as her online life succeeds beyond her wildest dreams, Liv is forced to balance that with the pressures of school, her mother’s disapproval, and her (mostly nonexistent and entirely traumatic) romantic life. A trip to DragonCon with Xander might be exactly what she needs to figure out what she really wants.

Source: GoodReads

Note: This review is solely the opinion of Patricia C Beagle (my vain and fame obssed Beagle back in Texas)-whose idea day is spent eating, getting cuteness rest, obsessing over the color orange, and slobbering over Anderson Cooper whenever he’s on the news.

Long time, no see.  Sometimes I even forget I do sometimes do this co-blogger thing but then I heard there was Beagle Con and that I was going to get an illustrious table because I’m like internet famous.  Much like Grumpy Cat, only without my own Lifeetime movie.

But my owner told me that that was only my fan fiction.

How can you write fan fiction about yourself, I ask?

Besides, I’m sure all you wonderful readers would just love seeing me at Beagle Con because I’m just so adorable with my floppy ears, chocolate color eyes, and love for the color orange.

Pure adorableness.

Pure adorableness.

Oh, orange.  How you are the most wonderful, adorable color ever.  If I was a color, Orange, I’d be you.

And before you say, Patty Cakes Beagle you have an ego, all I will say is look at me and this book is about fandom so I have the right to talk about the mere possibility of having a booth at Beagle Con.

So anyway, All the Poops-that’s what I started calling it in my head, ’cause I was like this book is so bad it gives me the poops and All the Poops seemed to be a better title than All the Feels.  There was a lot of shitty things that went on in this one after all.

Again, I ask why I am only allowed to read the oh, so, terrible books that you feel sort of bad about making fun of-in other words being mean to it would be like kicking an adorable puppy so an adorable puppy (ME!) must review it.

It’s a hard, hard, job.  And my life has gotten even worse lately.  Even though, the Chihuahuas left to live with MJ, one of my friends passed (RIP sweet Baby)  and my MJ’s mother got a Corgi puppy named Elsie Clementine for Mother’s Day who is my number one fan and said she would so visit me at Beagle Con.  But reading All the Poops was a lot worse than babysitting a corgi who thinks a water bowl is a swimming pool.

My protege whose sort of named after an orange, her middle name is Clementine,

My protege whose sort of named after an orange, her middle name is Clementine.

You know, Elsie sort of reminds me of the main character in this book-Liv.  She’s like obsessed with me and I think she would mourn the fact if I decided to  quit being awesome if I was a film star like the actor that Liv is obsessed with I’m sure that she’s totally get depressed/obsess/have a big online campaign that would be all about me and I’d like get so impressed and then bark at her because I wanted to make more money and…and…

Elsie obsessed.

Elsie obsessed over ME.

That doesn’t make sense.

I  mean, Elsie’s obsession with me sort of does, but Liv’s obsession with Captain Spartan and in turn the actor who plays him was sort of creepy.  I mean, she literally mourned him for like the entire book until everyone decided that hey we can cash cow out with one more movie like we’re Cassandra Clare or something, all because of her crappy cut and paste Youtube videos that featured her BFF as some random original character.

It was just weird and awkward and not really fandom like.

Let me tell you, I’ve experienced fandom.  I’ve wrote quite a bit of fan fics-all of them involving stories that involves Beagles.  Like, I redid Shiloh in which he discovers he has a long lost twin sister named, Patricia Cakes Beagle, and they’re adopted by Anderson Cooper and live their days in the CNN studio eating burgers.  Then there’s that fan fic where Anderson Cooper notices a poor Beagle aptly named Patty who is only allowed to eat her diet food once a day adopts her and then she gets to eat gourmet food anytime she wants and he buys her orange things.

Why can’t real life be like those stories?

The point is, as a fan fiction writer I was insulted with how Stone displayed fandom.  How she stereotyped the people who write fandom.  From age shaming, fat shaming, to misfit shaming it was done, done, and done.

This is my mad Beagle fae.

This is my mad Beagle face.

You know, instead of mocking fandom, Stone would’ve better benefited herself if she showcased it.  Sure, she could’ve shown some of the bad parts, some of the more crazier parts, but fandom in general is multi-facet*.

But to be fair, practically everyone was horribly except for Xander and Liv and they were just perfect, much like Patty Beagle and Anderson Cooper.   But to be honest, unlike Panderson, Xander and Liv are just weird together.

On paper, Xander could be an interesting character.  I think this is one of the first love interests I read in YA that is bi, and he’s quirky.  Although, other than the fact he has a Dick Van Dyke British accent, is wicked hot, and likes to wear morning coats, we never really find out much else about him.  Oh, he had  a perfectly nice girlfriend in the story, but she’s quickly dumped for no reason and we’re told that Liv doesn’t like her.

As for Liv, she’s a bitch-and not in the same way that I’m a bitch.  She harbors a lot of hate for anyone and everyone who tells her that she needs to grow up, randomly hates girls because they’re prettier than her, and is just sort of a brat in general.

It seems like the author tries to compensate  for Liv’s obnoxiousness by having all of the minor characters-save for Xander’s mysteriously disappearing ex-girlfriend-be supreme asses.

None of these people were realistic at all.  Even characters who were  giving Liv good advice, like her mother and by extension her mother’s boyfriend-who reminded me of Shiloh’s evil ex-owner-were mean.

I mean, you wanted Shiloh’s twin sister and her CNN news anchor reporter owner to come in there and save the day.  But unlike Shiloh, you quickly remember that Liv is a horrible person and, well, you just go oh poop she can just stay with Judd.

Anyways, I don’t really thing there’s much else to say about this one except it almost seemed like a parody except it wasn’t a parody.  I think that I was supposed to ship Xander and Liv much like I ship Panderson, but I can’t.   And anytime I think about this book, I don’t get any feels I just get the poops.

Um yeah.

Thanks You,

Patty

 

*Side note,  I (MJ) wanted to mention that I’ve read a few fandom oriented books in YA in the past few years.  Unfortunately, none of them have lived up to expectations.

 

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