I Cannot Get Behind This Ship: Somewhere I’ll Find You by Lisa Kleypas

The toast of the town…

All London is at Julia Wentworth’s feet—and anything she desires is hers for the asking. But the glamorous leading lady guards a shocking secret: a mystery husband whom she does not know, dares not mention … and cannot love.

For years Damon Savage has been searching for the stranger his parents wed him to without his consent, hoping to legally free himself from matrimony’s invisible chains. And he is astonished to discover his “bride” is none other than the exquisite lady he’d hoped to make his mistress! But though his wife by law, Julia will never truly be Damon’s—until he conquers her fears, his formidable rivals … and her proud, passionate, and independent heart.

Source: GoodReads

This ship reeks guys.

I mean, it’s not one of those ships where you want to take the heroine’s hand drag her away and slap hers silly for wanting to be with an abusive asshole, but it’s close.

I mean, the only reason I didn’t completely hate Damon Savage was because I recently was reminded of that Phillip asshole in Catherine Coulter’s Midsummer Magic.  But I did hate him, I mean claiming that just because Jessica/Julia was aroused meant that having unwanted sex with her wouldn’t be rape…then there’s that whole abduction thing at the end.  And how the heroine had to be constantly almost raped so that Damon could look like a good guy.

Yeah,  book throwing time.

Also, I just HATED how much this ship was pushed.  The book seemed to have a central theme about independence, but the entire ship ruined it.  And while it might’ve been the cliche route, I really wished Kleypas had gone with Logan/Julia.  And yes, I’ve read the companion sequel (Logan’s story) and the heroine in that book was an insipid little twit.  Both Julia and Logan would’ve been better off together than with the morons they were paired with.

To be honest, I really do wonder how much of a cliche it would’ve been to do Julia/Logan pairing.  It seems like in any book where the heroine  doesn’t want to be with a character in a relationship that is forced, somehow that’s who the MC ends up being with (see Something Wonderful).  Even if the author has to force the relationship on us, like in this case.  It’s especially odd with Julia and Damon since the initial meeting between Julia and Logan was the type that in much books would equal instant pair.

Instead, though I guess that chance encounter at a May Day celebration was supposed to have me rooting for Julia to be with her “husband” even though….

In addition to the gag worthy ship, there is also a gag worthy forgiveness side plot to a God awful character.  This is something I see recurring in all different romance novels and God knows I hate it.  The character in question was a dick until he got deathly ill and somehow got a personality transplant and was able to make bunny rabbits and roses with everyone.

No.

Add in addition to those two groan worthy cliches, some ample slut slamming and…

Book Hulk anyone?

The thing is, this is the better two out of the Capital Theatre duology.  That’s the sad thing.  There were some interesting things with this one, I just hated where it went.  It’s definitely not Kleypas’s best and that might’ve been in part because it was written in the 1990’s-which while not an as rapey era in romance and the 70’s and 80’s still had it’s share of foul moments.

Do I recommend it?  Honestly, no.  Like I said, I got a shit load of Kleypas’s books at a used bookstore and have just decided to read them all this summer.  I really prefer the Wallflower books and the Hathaway series to this fuckery.  Even her newer historical series which I’ve read-haven’t reviewed yet- with it’s faults is better than this.  I just couldn’t stand the ship in this one, and I just won’t be convinced otherwise.  On a side note, if anyone can recommend me any books where the author inverses the cliche-meaning, the heroine dumps the douche she’s tied to-let me know.  I want to read the fuck out of that book.  However, I haven’t found one as of yet and it almost, almost has me willing to write my own book flipping this sad cliche.  Alas, I don’t think I have the time to do the adequate research or the stomach to write cringe worthy sex scenes that are required for a historical romance. But still, give me that book.  Please, someone.

Overall Rating: A C+ that’s higher than the rating I gave to this book’s sequel, right?  I mean, it’s better than that dunce of a book.  But really, really, hated that God forsaken ship

 

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