Is This Marissa Meyer: Heartless by Marissa Meyer

Catherine may be one of the most desired girls in Wonderland and a favorite of the unmarried King, but her interests lie elsewhere. A talented baker, she wants to open a shop and create delectable pastries. But for her mother, such a goal is unthinkable for a woman who could be a queen.

At a royal ball where Cath is expected to receive the King’s marriage proposal, she meets handsome and mysterious Jest. For the first time, she feels the pull of true attraction. At the risk of offending the King and infuriating her parents, she and Jest enter into a secret courtship.

Cath is determined to choose her own destiny. But in a land thriving with magic, madness, and monsters, fate has other plans. 

Source: GoodReads

I used to say Marissa Meyer was the queen of retellings until I read Heartless.

Man, did I hate this book.  I think part of the problem was I just got so bored with it.  The book moves at a ridiculously slow pace.  I got to like page 200 and there had barely been any movement in it.  The book’s writing is decent enough.  I mean, it’s standard Meyer pose so if you found her writing decent in the Lunar Chronicles you’ll like it here.

For me though, the molasses pace and the cheating at looking at the ending kept me from wanting to finish Heartless.  I remember reading the ending and being like is this the shocking ending?  Because really, it was so predictable.

Other retellings, like the one one Meyer keeps referencing as her inspiration (Wicked) have unexpected twists to them.  This was utterly predictable.  At least to me, maybe it isn’t for you.

I did like the whole baking angle.  But hey, the book wasn’t supposed to be about food it was supposed to be about the Queen of Hearts origin story.  Hearing how she makes perfect lemon tarts, doesn’t exactly make for interesting reading.  Neither does her moony eyed puppy dog crush on a Joker wannabe.

Okay, Jest wasn’t exactly like the Joker but it would’ve been a much more interesting story if it was.  Especially if Cath was like Harley Quinn.  But nope, instead, it was a dull as dishwater relationship that I didn’t care to watch it develop.  In fact, the romance could’ve been thrown out for all I care and it could’ve been about Cath wanting to start out as an independent nasty woman.

But nope.

Wort romance ever.

And it’s by Marissa Meyer who gave us swoony ships like Kai/Cinder and Cress/Thorne to mention a couple.

Sigh.

I just didn’t care for it.  Like I said, the whole story was really boring like a dull romance novel.  I wouldn’t have ever known it was in Wonderland save for the few anamorphic characters.

If you’re a huge fan of Wonderland you might like this book.  But for me, eh…I didn’t care for it at all and didn’t finish it.

Overall Ratin: DNF

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