YA Books Based on US Political Candidates

Disclaimer: Because this blog does not talk about politics, other than to make fun of Donald Trump’s toupee, this is not an endorsement of any political candidate.  If you know me in real life, you know I do support a certain candidate and that I have been a lifelong member of a certain party (I am trying to be relatively unbiased in this post though).  But this blog post is purely written in jest, rather than being  a thorough analysis on the current state of weirdness in America. If you want to talk about politics with me you can read my Tweets and interact with them when there is a WWE debate on which seems to be like every other day. Note, I am only using the candidates currently in the race.  If I was to you use all of the candidates that originally entered the 2016 election  this post would never end.  

Anyway, without further ordeal.  American  presidential candidates  and YA books.  Note, each selection has a default Harry Potter comparison.  Because, you know, Harry Potter.

 

Hillary Clinton:

Hillary like  protagonists are practical.  They have a plans set out.  However, they might not exactly be the most outgoing of book characters.  They can be arguably polarizing, and people will always talk about them (often negatively).  Hillary protagonists also break ceilings and wear classy pant suits.

  • Kestrel The Winner’s Curse trilogy by Marie Rutkoski: Much like Hillary, Kestrel can come off as aloof and secretive  and is hated by a lot of people in said book series.  She is a master mind though, and wears classy looking dresses (a far cry from pant suits, but you can’t have everything).
  • Sydney from Bloodlines by Richelle Mead: Sydney is a planner and isn’t exactly the warmest character.  She does actually wear pant suits too, come to think of it.  Also, there was a big investigation concerning her actions.  However, I don’t think she was interrogated for over eleven hours.  Instead, she was just locked up in an underground Duggar like rehab facility for months.
  • Hermione Granger from Harry Potter:   Hillary probably has the most extensive of policies amongst the candidates, but like Hermione not everyone totally feels her.  Because, you know, not everyone likes hearing about Hogwarts a History.  Much like a lot of people don’t like hearing about policy.  They just like dick jokes, see the last GOP debate.  And Hermione ultimately did get a ministry job which sort of goes to this comparison.  The only thing is I don’t know is  if Hermione wears pant suits.

Donald Trump

Donald Trump himself could be a book character that no one would believe is real.  He has the potential to be either great comic relief or potentially an evil corrupt dictator who Cinder and her friends or someone equally capable would have to defeat.  He is a Lunar, right?  I mean that so explains the ever changing orange hair and the popularity.

  • Queen Levana from The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer: Because that hair is a total indicator that he is a Lunar.  And how he is always on top of the GOP polls despite the shit that spews out of his mouth indicates mind control.  Total Lunar.  Maybe he is Levana back from the dead OMG.
  • Lord Voldemort from the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling: While he still has a nose, he could very much be using a forbidden curse to get those votes.
  • That Obnoxious Xenophobe in Ten Things I Hate About Me by Randa Abdel-Fattah: Seriously, as bad as the characterization was in this book, someone needs to send it to Mr. Trump.  It shows how obnoxious xenophobes are.  Maybe Mr. Trump would learn something if he read it (doubtful, but maybe).

Bernie Sanders

The idealist.  Whose ideas appear great on paper, but you’re like that would cost me a lot of money in taxes.  Still, he wants to start a “revolution” and YA much like real life likes revolutions so that makes them fairly popular.   Also, he has his own folk album and that would probably make him one of YA’s “musical” geniuses.

  • Mr. Weasley from Harry Potter by JK Rowling: Because you could totally see him feeling the Bern in a flying car.  Plus, a lot of Bernie’s policies remind me of Mr. Weasley’s muggle tinkering.  Sort of a little out there, but hey some of them are fairly decent ideas.
  • Cinder in the Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer: While her personality in some regards has flecks of Hillary (she’s breaking glass ceilings with being the first cyborg Lunar queen)  her speeches almost mirror Bernie’s.  I mean, she and all the promo material involving the Lunar Chronicles constantly discussed “the revolution”.  Pretty much all those Winter promos, Bernie speeches.
  • Raif in Exquisite  Captive by Heather Demetrios: He talks a lot about revolutions.  Alas, no mention of the mysterious Wall Street (I looked a lot for a YA character who talked about the 1%, but there wasn’t a lot out there since most YA characters are members of the 1% which is another blog topic for another day).

Ted Cruz:

The character that nobody likes, and thinks he’s always rights, and randomly quotes Princess Bride quotes and makes you wince because-hey, you used to like that book until Teddy started talking about it.

  • Vizzini The Princess Bride  by William Goldman  : Because obviously. It’s inconceivable that Teddy wouldn’t be compared to him
  • Draco Malfoy the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling: He doesn’t quote The Princess Bride, but he does think he’s always right.  Although, to Teddy’s credit he hasn’t called anyone a mudblood.  He has insulted several groups of people though not quite as much as Donald Trump  Voldemort.
  • Mr. Collins from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen: Because Teddy sort of has the pious thing going on.   And Collins does make me wince.   BUT luckily Elizabeth didn’t end up with Collins because that would be just ew.

Marco Rubio:

Marco characters are the “golden boy” archetype.  Arguably though, they are the golden boy characters that just don’t live up to their so called “potential”.  Still though, they have a pretty face and doesn’t that make all the difference.  Also Marco characters are known for being a bit robotic.

  • Simon from Carry On by Rainbow Rowell: It’s too bad the obvious romance in the GOP party is between Teddy and Trump, because I could totally see Marco playing Simon the “chosen one” character that just can’t get it right and Teddy could be Baz which is akin to Draco.  But it’s obvious that Truz is the ultimate ship of this race (I just threw up a little in my mouth, but seriously you could cut some of the debate scenes and make  a 90’s rom com trailer-you know the love hate kind-with their interactions).
  • Harry Potter  by JK Rowling: If you think about how Harry won the books it was a bit of a Hell Mary.  I think at this point for Marco to win the race he’s need a horcrux.  He didn’t fare so well with his past battles with the Dark Lord.
  • Iko from the Lunar Chronicles: Becuase she’s sort of a robot (android) and she’s pretty.   However, Iko would not fail if she was a golden android.  Just saying.

Joh Kasich:

Um, who are you?  Seriously, the Kasich characters are those that we sort of forget that exists and are like-oh, yeah, that guy.  Often a supporting character who tries to be a main character, these type of characters easily fade to the background but slowly lurk their way to main cast as the book continues.

  • Neville Longbottom from Harry Potter by JK Rowling: Because everyone forgot about Neville until he grew up graduated and got hot and ruled the internet.  Now everyone talks about Neville a lot.
  • JP from the Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot:  Because no one saw him becoming a main cast member until he was in your face in book seven.  Up until that time he just had a corn in chili obsession.

 

And this is Why I Don’t Like Harco: Carry on by Rainbow Rowell

Simon Snow is the worst chosen one who’s ever been chosen.

That’s what his roommate, Baz, says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he’s probably right.

Half the time, Simon can’t even make his wand work, and the other half, he sets something on fire. His mentor’s avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there’s a magic-eating monster running around wearing Simon’s face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here—it’s their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon’s infuriating nemesis didn’t even bother to show up.

Carry On is a ghost story, a love story, a mystery and a melodrama. It has just as much kissing and talking as you’d expect from a Rainbow Rowell story—but far, far more monsters.

Source: GoodReads

When I found out about Carry On, I figured it would be either epic or not so epic.  It fell in the latter category for me.

I’ve never really have been a Rainbow Rowell fan girl.  I’ve only read Fangirl and a short story by her.  And while I liked Fangirl enough, the short story was lacking.

Then there’s also the fact that I sort of skimmed all the Simon Snow fan fiction because Simon and Baz reminded me of Harco (Harry and Draco) and I’m not a fan of Harco.

I was hoping though, that with further development I could love Simon and Baz, that they would not have the same toxicity of Harco….but…I didn’t like the book and it wasn’t because of the relationship.  Though, I didn’t sense any chemistry between either Simon and Baz (and I was about 200 pages in before I gave up).

What really threw me off from this book was how vague it was.

Objectively, the construction isn’t halfway bad.  It’s readable.  And that’s actually a pretty decent accomplishment in YA-read a Colleen Houck book and then tell me that it’s readable and then get back to me.  Although, the multiple POV changes are grating after awhile, especially since they’re so random and some of the chapters are obscenely short.

That vague feeling was what bothered me about the whole experience.  I think the world building was intentionally vague, in part, so that it couldn’t outright rip off Harry Potter-but who are we kidding we know it was basically the substitute of Harry Potter in Fangirl Rowell basically out right says it.  But instead of sort of parodying Potter fics in the best of ways, it’s one of those fics I’d automatically x-nay because it’s just too random.

Like I said, the summary and cover seem to indicate that Baz and Simon are going to be a thing, but Baz doesn’t even make an appearance until a good quarter of the book (150) and Simon seems too focus on his girlfriend to even notice him-save to whine about how he cheated with said girlfriend.

I guess one could make the argument that Rowell is showing the randomness of some fandom ships-because let’s face it in fandom you see it all.  There are Giant Squid fics out there, people.  But I really don’t think that’s what she was intending.  To me, it was almost as if she wanted us to forget that Carry On was a fan fic written by Cath and not the cannon Simon Snow.

I think that might’ve been what killed the story.

If the book would’ve sort of gone all out there in parody mode with it’s tropes it might’ve been more enjoyable to me.  Instead, it read very, very, bland with a plot that seemed to want to hide itself.

Which is fine, perfectly fine if you’re not trying to make a parody of Harry Potter.

The reason Harry Potter works so well is that it’s plots are so absorbing as well as the characters.  I couldn’t get absorbed in either aspect here.  I wanted to love Simon and Baz, and was thinking hey maybe when Baz gets involved into this mess it will work better but….

Nope.

Nope.

Nope.

In fact, the chemistry between the two was so lacking it made me sad. Simon’s relationship with Agatha broke up ridiculously fast.  I didn’t get why they were a couple either, but it really reminded me of a fan fic where the cannon pairing it broken up fast to force another couple together.

And that couple was Simon and Baz.

Honestly, out of the amount of interaction the characters were having if anyone should’ve been a couple it should’ve been Simon and Penny…but….no.

Clearly in the friend zone like Hermione.  ANd of course, that’s not the couple I was rooting for.  I was rooting for Simon and Baz, but more or less because of the blurb and the cover.  When together, they weren’t that magical.  In fact, they were sort of forced together like Harco is often forced together.

And that dear readers, is not a good thing.

Overall Rating: It’s a DNF,  I’m giving it the higher ranking of DNF (two stars on GoodReads) because the structure was fairly decent and for the most part it was readable.  But it really didn’t work for me.

Pottermore

It was thanks to the book blogging world that I found out that Pottermore was open to the general public last week.  And faster than you can type in Hogwarts, I was signed up and ready to be the most bad ass wizard since well….him.

When I arrived at  Hogwarts Pottermore the first thing I found out was I didn’t get to pick out my username.  I had a series of choices, due to some weird child safety law, to pick from and ended up choosing (CharmMist15227  which really sucks because my sister got a much more bad ass name BatOak4233).

After much sulking about my My Little Pony wannabe name, I continued my Pottermore experience and got down to the good stuff.  Buying a wand and the sorting.

Both of these quizzes were quite excellent and I was very impressed.  Especially the wand quiz which not only was fun, but informative.

In case your wondering.  My wand is 12 1/2 inches  made of rowan wood with a dragon core and is unbending.

This is a rowan tree.  I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a rowan tree till I found out my wand is made out of it.

 

Now for the best part.  The sorting.  The Potter nerd that I am, I have taken several sorting quizzes throughout the years always ending up either one or two houses: Slytherin or Ravenclaw.  So to say the least I was happy when I found out that I was in the house of the snakes.
After marveling over my snake status there wasn’t too much to do other than to make potions which I refuse to do or duel people which I do way too much.  Dueling is ridiculously easy which is sort of a problem though because everyone figures it out after all (i.e. there’s one particular bad ass spell while the rest of them or just sort of wimpy).
Overall  Thoughts: While there are some massive problems with Pottermore it is a good waste of time especially when one should be studying for their finals and finds themselves dueling with random people instead.