Darcy Fitzwilliam is 29, beautiful, successful, and brilliant. She dates hedge funders and basketball stars and is never without her three cellphones—one for work, one for play, and one to throw at her assistant (just kidding). Darcy’s never fallen in love, never has time for anyone else’s drama, and never goes home for Christmas if she can help it. But when her mother falls ill, she comes home to Pemberley, Ohio, to spend the season with her dad and little brother.
Her parents throw their annual Christmas bash, where she meets one Luke Bennet, the smart, sardonic slacker son of their neighbor. Luke is 32 and has never left home. He’s a carpenter and makes beautiful furniture, and is content with his simple life. He comes from a family of five brothers, each one less ambitious than the other. When Darcy and Luke fall into bed after too many eggnogs, Darcy thinks it’s just another one night stand. But why can’t she stop thinking of Luke? What is it about him? And can she fall in love, or will her pride and his prejudice against big-city girls stand in their way?
Everyone who reads this blog, knows my dirty little secret that I watch Hallmark movies. You know, that I think most of them are shit. That they preach horrible outdated views about women and what their roles are supposed to be-i.e. homebodies who have no ambition other than to bake banana cupcakes at the local cafe and give birth to a dozen or so loud poorly behaved babies-but I still keeping watching the movies mainly because of one reason…
Pss, if you can’t see the gif the answer is abs.
Hallmark movies usually star soap opera veterans and/or male models who are usually very fit and therefore make for nice eye candy even though the movie might overall reek (and they usually do).
Hearing that Melissa de la Cruz had been hired to write some movies for them I quasi cringed. My relationship with this author is so so. I really loved her Blue Bloods series when it first came out, but since I’ve been reviewing books I have found her usual tropes cringe worthy and insulting.
Seriously, small towns do not have Bloomingdales. For most of my life I lived in the fourth largest city in the US, and we did not have a Bloomingdales. So don’t tell me that podunk Ohio is going to have one nearby. That’s not how things work. I know, I lived in a itty bitty town for about two years and the most corporate thing they had was a Walmart.
In addition, people in their late 20’s do not become instantly rich without help. Or becoming a partner at a financial firm without connections. Unless you are extremely naive or young, you will be rolling your eyes with this sort of shit and it happens all the fucking time that I read the book-though to be fair I only made it through about 30 pages. But with model gorgeous men in addition to the gay b.f.f. who happens to be a world famous movie star that’s randomly staying in podunk-ville for Christmas. I just had to get a drink to maintain my sanity.
And then after having about six drinks, I was like I’m going to shoot my liver from reading this shit because it is just like an annoying Hallmark movie if it was written by a 12 year old who had to tell me every other page that her character was wearing Kate Spade pajamas.
I mean, I have a pair of Kate Spade pajamas myself but I don’t think they’re like the greatest thing ever where my audience needs to know abut them ever other page or what other brands my clothes are. Or that I buy them (like this character apparently does) without trying them on.
I mean, who does that? If I’m dragging my butt to the actual store, I’m going to try on to make sure that expensive ass dress fits.
With Blue Bloods, at least there was a purpose to that sort of thing. The characters were rich girls in New York, and to be fair as the series progressed the brand name dropping ceased a little. And I thought that was done in part to show the progression in character development. But these are grown ass adults talking about their pajamas…
Also, I’m the same age as the MC and she acts like she’s about a decade older. I’m sorry. But she made 29 feel ancient. It didn’t help that there were innuendos that there’s something wrong with you if you haven’t popped out and kid and got hitched. You know, some people don’t want marriage and family right away. To be fair though, Darcy is an insipid tart, but after about three pages of this shit I had enough of her.
It didn’t help that the Lizzy Bennet character (Luke Bennet) is pretty much your stereotypical Hallmark jerky douche who “loosens’ up the MC into liking small town life.
Enough of that shit.
This book is doing a disservice to one of the greatest novels and romances ever written and I just want to give you a Mr. Darcy look of disdain for it ( a gif will have to suffice).
Look, I know Hallmark movies are bad. As previously stated, I watch them for the abs. I was hoping that getting fresh blood like de la Cruz meant they would be getting fresh stories. Like maybe one where the woman decides not to get to the chump and goes back to the city where she finally notices that the nice nerdy guy she’s friends with is actually quite the catch and he is not remotely rude or an asshat to her. What I saw with this book was a poor Pride and Prejudice retelling stuffed with Hallmark tropes. It’s NOT the retelling the audience wants or deserves, and I’m not going to pain myself trying to get through it.
I think it’s sort of official that I am not a fan of de a Cruz’s stuff anymore. I have a few of her books in my shelf that I’ll get to at some point, but quite honestly it’s not going to be a top priority and at this point I feel like I’ve said all I wanted to say about her writing. It’s a shame though, because she DOES have some good ideas. The execution though is usually horrible and quite juvenile.
Skip this shit.
Overall Rating: DNF